The last nine days..and Christmas Eve

I can't believe it's almost been ten days since my last "real" post. Time flies! In the last nine days I got my hair cut and highlighted. Ahhh. What a luxury. I needed the cut to freshen up and the highlights to hide all the gray hair this tornado has put on my head. Eek! Mom watched L during my hair appointment and got N off the bus... (the bus driver said she drives one block north of our house on her usual daily bus route. She looked at the map and saw that our rental is just around the corner from her typical route so she offered to drop N off at our doorstep at the end of each day. Yes!! I gain more than an hour for her favor and, as it turn out, N sits with a boy from our home neighborhood every day. Apparently that boy goes to after care at the church behind our house, so he rides the bus with N. Super cool!) After my hair cut I noticed I had a message from a friend. She said she had heard about a gift donation center set up at the Methodist Church for victims of the tornado. At first I felt bad about considering accepting a toy donation because we really don't fit the typical definition of "in need." We have insurance. D has a good job. Ya, Mother Nature has kicked us out of our house, but we aren't "in need." This is something most of us have struggled with the last few weeks. There are a percentage of the people effected by the storm who are in need, but the vast majority of us effected aren't "in need." We feel guilty accepting donations because we are usually the ones helping others. We are usually giving the donation, not accepting it. We've talked about it a lot with friends and we've all come down to the conclusion that we do need help. We are in the midst of our lives being turned upside down and shaken every which way, so it's okay for us to accept help. I didn't have time nor the mental capacity to go in and out of stores shopping for Christmas presents like I do in a typical year. The music's too loud, the amount of "stuff" is overwhelming, the crowds are to thick and we've got lots of other thoughts swirling around in our heads. When we do get to the store and get to the aisle we need to be in and arrive at the thing we came for, we often stand their like a deer in the headlights when it comes to making a decision on which one to get. There have been several times that I gotten half way through my list and decided to pay for what I had and just leave. As we walk through the store we are reminded of the items we used to have that we miss, the items we used to have that we probably never needed, the items we might want to have six months from now and the items we need in the rental house that won't necessarily fit in our original house once it's done. Ugh!! Are you confused yet, dear reader?

Anyway. I say all that to say that I decided to go to the toy donation center to check it out for the simple reason of shopping made easier. I told myself (and Mom told me) if I get there and I'm not comfortable with the idea of taking anything I just say thank you, but no thank you and I leave. No biggie. I arrive, I check in, I wait for my shopping helpers. I'm committed now. "C, hey, I see you made it!" It's a familiar voice, I turn around and it's my friend who told me about the event. "Yay, you came too!" What a relief. She came for the same reasons I did. I get into the church recreation room and am totally amazed!! The number of toys, games, stuffed animals, bikes, puzzles, books, etc, etc. "You can pick out two games per child and then I will send it to that table to be wrapped." "Wrapped?? You're wrapping too??!!" Oh my gosh! They gave us toys and they wrapped them. The lady was super sweet. She had no idea what I'd been through a few days ago when I went to my big house and wrapped a few presents for family in my broken house surrounded by my broken stuff. She had no idea what it took to set up my table, transport my gifts, collect the scissors, tape, supplies. She had no idea how wonderful it was for her to wrap it for me. Terrific! What a blessing. I will be a blessing to someone else in a similar way next year. When we are done with this situation and our house is fixed and our life is put back together I will be a blessing as often as I can, in both big ways and in little ways.

L had his pre school Christmas program on the 19th. The kids were so cute. They did a really good job of memorizing and reciting about seven or eight little songs and poems.. the kids made an ornament for their parents with their picture inside. I love the kid's homemade decorations. During the day L and I ran errands to stock our pantry/fridge to prepare ourselves for the upcoming sleet and ice. We had a boy scout pack meeting on the night of the 19th. It was nice to get back together with the people involved in Scouts. They played a game called ga-ga ball. That was my first time to see that. Most of the kids liked it, but N did not. He liked watching and cheering, but preferred not to participate. The kids signed their names on giant thank you cards to several area groups and service organizations who have been a tremendous help in the efforts to recover after the tornado. At the end of the meeting the boys and their families gathered around as the scout master and den leaders made a video thanking everyone from around the country for their support. The video turned out really nice. I can email it to you if you'd like to see it.

Before the freezing rain and ice arrived on Friday the 20th I needed to return a crock pot to a friend who made us several meals. She surprised me with more gluten free, dairy free freezer meals and invited me to be a part of her freezer cooking club. Brilliant! I told her it will be a few more months before I can commit, but I'd like to when the time comes.

Just a few of our claims

On the way home from that errand, I got to stop by a friend's rental house and visit with her when I picked up my carhart pants from her. It's so good to take the time to keep in contact with friends. We're all going through this situation together. Talking through it with friends is very beneficial. You don't really truly know what it's like living through something like this until you walk in it day in and day out. And we don't expect anyone who's not going through this to completely understand because you couldn't possibly. But knowing that you're not the only one living this and being able to talk to friends about it is huge. I have several friends who are displaced into rental homes and apartments. As I was saying, I got to visit my friend A on the 20th at her rental. It's so cute. None of us are living in homes that we're used to. None of us know where our stuff  is. Lots of us are still sorting, pitching, finding, donating, claiming...This is a long and tedious process for most of us. Others are done with the sorting and pitching. God how I wish I was!! Ugh....For some reason I get so overwhelmed by the sorting, pitching, claiming process. It's like I'm standing at the base of a mountain every time I start into it. Once I get going and get into a rhythm, I'm fine, but getting started takes a major pep talk..and maybe a large ice tea..okay and some chocolate...After talking to my friends who are still claiming things, I realize they feel the same way. It's time consuming. It's something we've gotta do and we'll get through it, but it's no easy task.

My friend J hasn't moved into her rental house yet. She's been living with friends since the storm hit. She and I were comparing notes on our rentals. She's calling her a cottage. She says that's her cute way of saying small and old...Ha. I was telling her I am taking a basket of dirty dishes at a time to our "big house" to put through the dishwasher whenever I can. (Props to those who do not have a dishwasher. I've done the dishes at our rental by hand several times and it's for the birds quite honestly. It's kind of therapuetic, but we have so much going on right now I'd rather use my time doing other things...So I shlep my dirty dishes across town to clean them in a machine. Technology!!) Anyway. She said she doesn't have a washer or dryer at her "cottage," but she does have a dishwasher. She's going to be hauling her dirty clothes to her big house to do laundry. This friend happens to be my next door neighbor so we laughed and said we need to coordinate our cleaning schedules so we can sip tea and eat bon bons while our machines do the work for us. Ha!

The ice and sleet proved not to be too bad on Friday the 20th. N got home early from school as the kick off to winter break. I remember that day being busy, but I honestly don't remember what we did. We were supposed to drive through the festival of lights display, but for some reasont hat didn't work out. I was bummed that we didn't have time to do that, but we did eat out at our fav Mexican restaurant for dinner. And much to our surprise they had a mariachi band that night. We ended up having a great meal and lively entertainment. We decided to drive by our big house before heading home to check on it (due to the ice and rain) and on our way there we saw Santa riding on top of the city fire truck. He was followed by other fire trucks, an ambulance and police car. It was so fun running into him! I felt like a little kid waving at him.

Mom was supposed to come over on the 21st, but I told her she better not due to the weather forecast. And it turns out it was a good thing she did not. Not because of the weather conditions, but because she found out one of her long time friend's ex husband died. It's a long and kind of odd story, but Mom's friend had been caring for her ailing x-husband for several years and he finally passed. So, she was able to be there for her friend. (May you rest in peace, Jerry. May your body know no more pain and your spirit be lifted to Heaven.)

Fast forward to Christmas Eve and we realize that Christmas indeed is coming! That morning I worked out at the gym...Pause...I've been maintaining my gym routine. I have cut my work out down to about half the amount of time I usually do, but it's all I have time for right now. The first couple of times I went to the gym were completely overwhelming..I forgot my key one day...I forgot my shampoo another.. I found that the faster I tried to walk or run, the faster my mind raced and not in a good way. I decided if I just walked at a steady pace and didn't listen to music my mind didn't race and exercise felt good. I kept that up and in the last few days I'm working my way back up to speed. I'm still working out for good health, but I finally realized that I like going to the gym because it's the one place in my daily routine that has not changed. The people are the same, the machines are the same, nothing has changed and that's comforting. In fact, there are numerous people I have seen at the gym for the last seven years I haven't talked to until now. I'm just not the type to strike up a conversation, but if someone approaches me I will chat. I find that so many of us at the gym are like that. Now that we have this big common denominator (the tornado), we're opening up and talking daily. What I've heard from so many people is that, even though so many of us never talked before, we all thought of one another as we headed back to the gym. "Would Molly the custodian be there? Was her house hit? Would that short muscular girl with the short curly hair be there? Was she effected?" It's interesting to hear everyone's accounts of where they were when the tornado hit and what they're doing now to recover. The seventy year old woman and the thirty year woman are sharing and forming friendships. Now that we've all shared bits and pieces of our stories we've moved onto other topics, but we still talk every day. I say good morning every time I see the woman with the walker getting ready on the same bench at the same time every morning whom I've seen every morning for the last three years. Jan, the fit elderly woman who is my inspiration, is someone I now talk to every time I see her. This tornado did a lot to tear lots of lives and homes a part, but it has brought people together as well.

Okay, back to Christmas Eve...This year I had to be extra stealthy in figuring out how to hide, wrap and transport the gifts. We have several extra empty plastic tubs the Red Cross gave us a few weeks ago, so I used those, suitcases, duffle bags and black garbage bags to transport our gifts. D and I packed up my van, put the kids in and drove home and the boys had no clue what they were traveling with. They didn't even bat an eye. We've been moving boxes, bins and bags back and forth since the tornado hit, so it wasn't anything unusual to them to be sitting in front of so much stuff. When we got home it was time to get dressed and ready to go to Christmas Eve service. In years' past I've fretted over our outfits, our ironing, our hair, our pictures, our meal, our dessert...Plah. Not this year! We were doing great to be dressed, in clean clothes and moving in the right direction at the right time. Service was good, we ate leftovers and canned soup for dinner and you know what?? We still had a terrific evening. We even got some fun family pictures before leaving for church. Jesus was born in a manger, surrounded by animals and Mary and Joseph were not fancy people. If they can celebrate the birth of Jesus in a simple, understated manner than we can too. The sentiment in which we celebrate the season has nothing to do with what clothes we wear and what food we eat. It's what's in our hearts and our minds that's important. Don't get me a wrong, a sparkly dress and a serving of honey glazed ham is great, but you are no less if you don't have those things.