Tuesday Day 10

Today was a big day. Our insurance adjustor and contractor were able to come to the house to look over the house at the same time. We were technically not allowed into our homes, but the insurance agent, contractor and D parked on the road behind our house and walked along the waterway to get in. I couldn't get my car over the curb to park on that street, so I planned on parking at our gym about 1.5 miles away and walking in. I suited up in my "tornado chique" (thanks to J for coining our current fashion) used bibs (that i picked up at the donation center) and prepped myself to walk the 1.5 miles weighted down with backpacks and bags.. Side note: If there's anything I've learned about myself (and D) this week it's this. If you present me with a challenge that prevents my family from getting what we need I'm going to fight like H to change your mind. I will try to do so with respect and graciousness, but you better believe Ill give it my all.. You are totally unaware of what you are capable of until something like this happens to you...I've had my moments of frustration/anger/weakness, but I've been given moments of strength and determination too.

As I parked my car in the parking at the gym I realized I would be walking through the tornado zone versus driving. I've driven through it a few times and every time I'm amazed at the destruction. But, driving through forces you to move somewhat quickly. Walking on other hand was going to be the slowest possible way to navigate... As I drew closer to the police officer manning that part of the street I realized these are the streets I have walked on with my kids since they were babies. We've walked, jogged, biked these sidewalks countless times observing the landscaping, animals, passersby as we go. We've had our best conversations and laughs here. Would there even be a sidewalk to walk on, a house to recognize, a landmark to familiarize myself with? I felt my sadness start to creep into my head thinking of how much these roads have meant to my kids and I and the memories we've made and I decided  i may not be able to walk this one without breaking down and crying. "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..."  I noticed the police officer was letting some cars in but not others, so i asked who was being allowed in. "Where you headed?" He didn't recognize our street name so he pulled out the map for clarification. Once he realized how far I was walking (and remember it's really cold out) he looked at me like I was crazy. "I have to meet my insurance agent and my builder. I can't miss them." At that moment another police officer arrived to relieve this man of his duties. He saw how far I was going to walk and said, "I'm here to take over your post.  We're not supposed to let anyone in, but I will let you if he escorts you."  I needed that help in that moment. If I had to walk I was going to take a deep reath and do it, but I was given a little grace instead. i needed it. (Thanks, Dad I thought to myself). I've had many little moments like that lately where I'm in the right time at the right place and I'm guided to what I need. Those moments have been happening just when I need them. I always take note of them, say thanks and "put them in my pocket" and look at them when we're having a challenging moment.

This tornado has changed our lives in so may ways. one thing I keep thinking about is the generosity of family, friends and complete strangers. We've had so many ask to help us out it's un-real. We're usually not the ones accepting help (and that's been something to get used to), but now that we know what it's like to need help we will be better at figuring out what others need when it's our turn to pitch in!