The last nine days..and Christmas Eve

I can't believe it's almost been ten days since my last "real" post. Time flies! In the last nine days I got my hair cut and highlighted. Ahhh. What a luxury. I needed the cut to freshen up and the highlights to hide all the gray hair this tornado has put on my head. Eek! Mom watched L during my hair appointment and got N off the bus... (the bus driver said she drives one block north of our house on her usual daily bus route. She looked at the map and saw that our rental is just around the corner from her typical route so she offered to drop N off at our doorstep at the end of each day. Yes!! I gain more than an hour for her favor and, as it turn out, N sits with a boy from our home neighborhood every day. Apparently that boy goes to after care at the church behind our house, so he rides the bus with N. Super cool!) After my hair cut I noticed I had a message from a friend. She said she had heard about a gift donation center set up at the Methodist Church for victims of the tornado. At first I felt bad about considering accepting a toy donation because we really don't fit the typical definition of "in need." We have insurance. D has a good job. Ya, Mother Nature has kicked us out of our house, but we aren't "in need." This is something most of us have struggled with the last few weeks. There are a percentage of the people effected by the storm who are in need, but the vast majority of us effected aren't "in need." We feel guilty accepting donations because we are usually the ones helping others. We are usually giving the donation, not accepting it. We've talked about it a lot with friends and we've all come down to the conclusion that we do need help. We are in the midst of our lives being turned upside down and shaken every which way, so it's okay for us to accept help. I didn't have time nor the mental capacity to go in and out of stores shopping for Christmas presents like I do in a typical year. The music's too loud, the amount of "stuff" is overwhelming, the crowds are to thick and we've got lots of other thoughts swirling around in our heads. When we do get to the store and get to the aisle we need to be in and arrive at the thing we came for, we often stand their like a deer in the headlights when it comes to making a decision on which one to get. There have been several times that I gotten half way through my list and decided to pay for what I had and just leave. As we walk through the store we are reminded of the items we used to have that we miss, the items we used to have that we probably never needed, the items we might want to have six months from now and the items we need in the rental house that won't necessarily fit in our original house once it's done. Ugh!! Are you confused yet, dear reader?

Anyway. I say all that to say that I decided to go to the toy donation center to check it out for the simple reason of shopping made easier. I told myself (and Mom told me) if I get there and I'm not comfortable with the idea of taking anything I just say thank you, but no thank you and I leave. No biggie. I arrive, I check in, I wait for my shopping helpers. I'm committed now. "C, hey, I see you made it!" It's a familiar voice, I turn around and it's my friend who told me about the event. "Yay, you came too!" What a relief. She came for the same reasons I did. I get into the church recreation room and am totally amazed!! The number of toys, games, stuffed animals, bikes, puzzles, books, etc, etc. "You can pick out two games per child and then I will send it to that table to be wrapped." "Wrapped?? You're wrapping too??!!" Oh my gosh! They gave us toys and they wrapped them. The lady was super sweet. She had no idea what I'd been through a few days ago when I went to my big house and wrapped a few presents for family in my broken house surrounded by my broken stuff. She had no idea what it took to set up my table, transport my gifts, collect the scissors, tape, supplies. She had no idea how wonderful it was for her to wrap it for me. Terrific! What a blessing. I will be a blessing to someone else in a similar way next year. When we are done with this situation and our house is fixed and our life is put back together I will be a blessing as often as I can, in both big ways and in little ways.

L had his pre school Christmas program on the 19th. The kids were so cute. They did a really good job of memorizing and reciting about seven or eight little songs and poems.. the kids made an ornament for their parents with their picture inside. I love the kid's homemade decorations. During the day L and I ran errands to stock our pantry/fridge to prepare ourselves for the upcoming sleet and ice. We had a boy scout pack meeting on the night of the 19th. It was nice to get back together with the people involved in Scouts. They played a game called ga-ga ball. That was my first time to see that. Most of the kids liked it, but N did not. He liked watching and cheering, but preferred not to participate. The kids signed their names on giant thank you cards to several area groups and service organizations who have been a tremendous help in the efforts to recover after the tornado. At the end of the meeting the boys and their families gathered around as the scout master and den leaders made a video thanking everyone from around the country for their support. The video turned out really nice. I can email it to you if you'd like to see it.

Before the freezing rain and ice arrived on Friday the 20th I needed to return a crock pot to a friend who made us several meals. She surprised me with more gluten free, dairy free freezer meals and invited me to be a part of her freezer cooking club. Brilliant! I told her it will be a few more months before I can commit, but I'd like to when the time comes.

Just a few of our claims

On the way home from that errand, I got to stop by a friend's rental house and visit with her when I picked up my carhart pants from her. It's so good to take the time to keep in contact with friends. We're all going through this situation together. Talking through it with friends is very beneficial. You don't really truly know what it's like living through something like this until you walk in it day in and day out. And we don't expect anyone who's not going through this to completely understand because you couldn't possibly. But knowing that you're not the only one living this and being able to talk to friends about it is huge. I have several friends who are displaced into rental homes and apartments. As I was saying, I got to visit my friend A on the 20th at her rental. It's so cute. None of us are living in homes that we're used to. None of us know where our stuff  is. Lots of us are still sorting, pitching, finding, donating, claiming...This is a long and tedious process for most of us. Others are done with the sorting and pitching. God how I wish I was!! Ugh....For some reason I get so overwhelmed by the sorting, pitching, claiming process. It's like I'm standing at the base of a mountain every time I start into it. Once I get going and get into a rhythm, I'm fine, but getting started takes a major pep talk..and maybe a large ice tea..okay and some chocolate...After talking to my friends who are still claiming things, I realize they feel the same way. It's time consuming. It's something we've gotta do and we'll get through it, but it's no easy task.

My friend J hasn't moved into her rental house yet. She's been living with friends since the storm hit. She and I were comparing notes on our rentals. She's calling her a cottage. She says that's her cute way of saying small and old...Ha. I was telling her I am taking a basket of dirty dishes at a time to our "big house" to put through the dishwasher whenever I can. (Props to those who do not have a dishwasher. I've done the dishes at our rental by hand several times and it's for the birds quite honestly. It's kind of therapuetic, but we have so much going on right now I'd rather use my time doing other things...So I shlep my dirty dishes across town to clean them in a machine. Technology!!) Anyway. She said she doesn't have a washer or dryer at her "cottage," but she does have a dishwasher. She's going to be hauling her dirty clothes to her big house to do laundry. This friend happens to be my next door neighbor so we laughed and said we need to coordinate our cleaning schedules so we can sip tea and eat bon bons while our machines do the work for us. Ha!

The ice and sleet proved not to be too bad on Friday the 20th. N got home early from school as the kick off to winter break. I remember that day being busy, but I honestly don't remember what we did. We were supposed to drive through the festival of lights display, but for some reasont hat didn't work out. I was bummed that we didn't have time to do that, but we did eat out at our fav Mexican restaurant for dinner. And much to our surprise they had a mariachi band that night. We ended up having a great meal and lively entertainment. We decided to drive by our big house before heading home to check on it (due to the ice and rain) and on our way there we saw Santa riding on top of the city fire truck. He was followed by other fire trucks, an ambulance and police car. It was so fun running into him! I felt like a little kid waving at him.

Mom was supposed to come over on the 21st, but I told her she better not due to the weather forecast. And it turns out it was a good thing she did not. Not because of the weather conditions, but because she found out one of her long time friend's ex husband died. It's a long and kind of odd story, but Mom's friend had been caring for her ailing x-husband for several years and he finally passed. So, she was able to be there for her friend. (May you rest in peace, Jerry. May your body know no more pain and your spirit be lifted to Heaven.)

Fast forward to Christmas Eve and we realize that Christmas indeed is coming! That morning I worked out at the gym...Pause...I've been maintaining my gym routine. I have cut my work out down to about half the amount of time I usually do, but it's all I have time for right now. The first couple of times I went to the gym were completely overwhelming..I forgot my key one day...I forgot my shampoo another.. I found that the faster I tried to walk or run, the faster my mind raced and not in a good way. I decided if I just walked at a steady pace and didn't listen to music my mind didn't race and exercise felt good. I kept that up and in the last few days I'm working my way back up to speed. I'm still working out for good health, but I finally realized that I like going to the gym because it's the one place in my daily routine that has not changed. The people are the same, the machines are the same, nothing has changed and that's comforting. In fact, there are numerous people I have seen at the gym for the last seven years I haven't talked to until now. I'm just not the type to strike up a conversation, but if someone approaches me I will chat. I find that so many of us at the gym are like that. Now that we have this big common denominator (the tornado), we're opening up and talking daily. What I've heard from so many people is that, even though so many of us never talked before, we all thought of one another as we headed back to the gym. "Would Molly the custodian be there? Was her house hit? Would that short muscular girl with the short curly hair be there? Was she effected?" It's interesting to hear everyone's accounts of where they were when the tornado hit and what they're doing now to recover. The seventy year old woman and the thirty year woman are sharing and forming friendships. Now that we've all shared bits and pieces of our stories we've moved onto other topics, but we still talk every day. I say good morning every time I see the woman with the walker getting ready on the same bench at the same time every morning whom I've seen every morning for the last three years. Jan, the fit elderly woman who is my inspiration, is someone I now talk to every time I see her. This tornado did a lot to tear lots of lives and homes a part, but it has brought people together as well.

Okay, back to Christmas Eve...This year I had to be extra stealthy in figuring out how to hide, wrap and transport the gifts. We have several extra empty plastic tubs the Red Cross gave us a few weeks ago, so I used those, suitcases, duffle bags and black garbage bags to transport our gifts. D and I packed up my van, put the kids in and drove home and the boys had no clue what they were traveling with. They didn't even bat an eye. We've been moving boxes, bins and bags back and forth since the tornado hit, so it wasn't anything unusual to them to be sitting in front of so much stuff. When we got home it was time to get dressed and ready to go to Christmas Eve service. In years' past I've fretted over our outfits, our ironing, our hair, our pictures, our meal, our dessert...Plah. Not this year! We were doing great to be dressed, in clean clothes and moving in the right direction at the right time. Service was good, we ate leftovers and canned soup for dinner and you know what?? We still had a terrific evening. We even got some fun family pictures before leaving for church. Jesus was born in a manger, surrounded by animals and Mary and Joseph were not fancy people. If they can celebrate the birth of Jesus in a simple, understated manner than we can too. The sentiment in which we celebrate the season has nothing to do with what clothes we wear and what food we eat. It's what's in our hearts and our minds that's important. Don't get me a wrong, a sparkly dress and a serving of honey glazed ham is great, but you are no less if you don't have those things.

Quote

"There are years that ask questions and years that answer."
                                                      ~Zora Neale Hurston

Connected

We have internet!!! I wanna click my  heels together and shout it from the mountain tops...except there aren't mountains in this area, so I'll shot from the rooftops, "We have internet!!!" You would think I'd be ready to jump on Pinterest  or catch up on celebrity gossip on TMZ or catch up on my favorite blogs, but I don't. I have more pressing things to do like finish up Christmas shopping, submit tax forms and research cost of items we lost in the storm so we can submit our claims report. Boring, I know. But you have no idea how much easier my life will be having internet in our house. I've been shlepping a laptop and our cameras from place to place (library, coffee shop, community center) whenever I get a minute so I can get a few things done here and there. I feel like I'm connected back with society because now I can email whenever I want.. Yay! I'm so thankful. What a relief.

Random Thoughts

We moved into our rental house Saturday. It was a mad dash to get all of our belongings out of the hotel room before check out time. Without the help of family we would not been able to meet that deadline. Thanks for you help!

We got our Christmas tree out of our storage spot at the big house and got it set up at our little house.
I never knew how specail the tree is to me until I thought we weren't going to get to put one up this year. I feel so fortunate to have all the ornaments that we've collected over the years from the boys' births, family vacation, heirloom homemade ornaments, etc. Our tree really is a story of our life and holds our memores in one spot. It was a really nice to treat to take a break from tornado stuff to put it up. D figured out a way to rig up Chrismtas music for us to listen to.

We are running into a few hiccups with the rental house. They haven't transferred some of their services to their new location, so we cannot get our services set up. This mainly effects internet and cable. For some reason the wife has forwarder her mail to her/their new location, but the husband has not forwards his mail. We don't know the former renters, but I'm getting the impression they may have left the house and went two different directions...I say that to say that we won't have cable until Thurday at the earliest and it may be middle to late next week before we get internet...So, I'm typing this from the cozy desk at the library. Each library patron has 120 minutes per day of interent usage...
I think I could gobble up that time very quickly with emails and researching the cost of the items we are claiming, but I'm thankful for the internet usage nonetheless!

N had his winter program last night. It was nice to meet all our grandparents for pizza and the show. It was nice to see so many of our community members, friends and neighbors at the school for the show.

Thank you to everyone who has sent cards, email, texts. We appreciate your continued support and apologize if we haven't email or called with a thank you note yet. Being without internet makes communication a challenge. I've already exceeded my text messaging limit and I'm only about ten days into my billing cycle. So, we are thankful and we want you to know it, but it may take us a while to get back to you. :)

Wednesday: Fog

On Monday the boys and I were on our own while Daddy went back to work for a half day. I've been feeling guilty about not spending time with them due to the fact that I've been working on our "big house" so much. Side note. There was lots of confusion as to which house we were referring to in conversations, so one night we came to an agreement on terminology. We decided to refer to our damage house as our "big house," our rental house as the "small house," and the hotel as the hotel.
Anyway...I'd been feeling guilty about not spending as much time with the boys and I knew Tuesday was going to be our big "back to school" day, so I wanted quality time with my boys. We went swimming at the indoor hotel pool. We ate breakfast, put in a load of laundry on the way to the pool and swam. We had so much fun. I was able to grab some pool toys from our big house, so we played with those. I threw pool rings and the boys retrieved them. We threw pool rockets, played with the battery operated pool penguins, did canon balls and sat in the hot tub for a bit. We had the pool all to ourselves. It was a vacation from our current chaos. We got showered and dressed after swimming and headed to Washington. N's school was open on Monday for people to stop by the office for address changes. Now that we finally have a rental house we could give them that information. If we had lossed our backpacks and lunch boxes we could have selected new ones from the piles that the PTO collected through donation. Both boys' backpacks are fine, so we opted not to do that in case those in need want one. Before the tornado hit (We've shortened that to BT) I had been asking N to bring his gym shoes home so I can wash them. They were getting stiiiinnky! I couldn't remember if he had brought them home, I didn't know if they'd blown away in the storm. So, we went to his locker at school while we were there to see what his gym shoe status was. They were there...still stinky. :)
N's teacher was there so we chatted with her for a bit before leaving. The school looks so nice. We're so lucky to have our school. There are houses 100 yards behind our school that are completely leveled, but yet our primary school only sustained minimal damage. The school administration worked feverishly to have windows replaced, the school yard cleaned up (although the kids can't play at the playground due to small glass), etc. They've been super great to maintain communication, check the structure of the building and roof. We're so lucky. The school looked terrific. A local girl scout troop decorated the school with Christmas decorations, green and red paper chains, set up a Christmas tree and decorated it with hundreds of candy canes. Hundreds of children from schools all lever the country have drawn pictures and written letters to our kids. They are all hanging on the walls in the hallways of the school. Such a beautiful sight. N has been hesitant to to anywhere since the tornado hit. When we stayed at our parents' homes in our hometown the first week after the storm he was comfortable being at their homes, but he didn't want to go to the library, the school gym, etc.
Once we got settled into our hotel room N didn't want to leave the hotel room. We couldn't talk him into going to the Park District for all the activities they were offering there. He didn't want to go to the rainbow play systems play show room, he didn't want to go to our library. Nowhere. He just wanted to stay at the hotel. He finally agreed to go to McDonald's to play and eat lunch and if, after that he was happy, he might go to Target to spend a Birthday gift card on a toy. At the time we didn't have a single toy at our hotel room, so that sparked his interest. He went to Target and McDonald's a couple of times before he was open to going anywhere else. Needless to say I've been anticipating the first day back at school with hesitation. I'm so glad we went on Monday for the open office hours day. I'm so glad we talked to the (wonderful) admins at the front desk, I'm glad we walked the halls, looked at his locker and chatted with his teacher. For some reason that little visit back at his school was a turning point for him. He felt comfortable going back to school. Thank Goodness!!

On Tuesday morning when it was time to get to school I asked him if he wanted me to walk him in or if he wanted me to drive up and let him off at the drop off line he said he was ready to walk in alone. So proud! He walked in with a little hop in his step. ahhhh. That put a big smile on my face to see him walk in so big and brave.


The fog on Tuesday morning actually turned out to be a blessing. It was thick which meant I needed to be careful driving, but it also served as a nice curtain of sorts that covered the boys' view of the debris filled yards/streets on the drive through town en route to school.
Tuesday was also back to school day for L. Monday night he started worrying about going back to school. As we were getting ready for bed he started telling me he didn't want to go and first thing when he opened his eyes on Tuesday morning he repeatedly said he didn't want to go. We talked about his classmates names. We talked about his teachers missing him. We talked about toys he'd get to see again. No dice. Ugh. I was preparing myself for a major melt down. I thought I might have to stay all or at least half the morning with him to get him back in the groove....I said a little prayer asking  God for an extra dose of patients!! I got him out of the car and into the church and as soon as he laid eyes on the three therapy dogs that were there he was fine! He loves dogs and these dogs are trained to be around stressed out kids/adults so knew L would be safe around them. L just loved them. He hung up his coat and backpack, washed his hands and returned to me for a hug. I kneeled down and petted the dogs with him for a few minutes, got another hug from L and he was ready for me to go. No tears!! Yay!! We'll see how Thursday goes ;)

Tuesday Mom and I worked on soft claims at the house. Lay out your insulation covered shirt, take a picture, type it into the spreadsheet. Lay out your glass pelted pillow, take a picture, type it into spreadsheet. Te-di-ous! Tedious! I'm learning that every last step of this disaster is tedious. Oy.

After preschool L, Grammy and I went to the little house for a picnic lunch. We don't have furniture at the little house yet, so we laid out our picnic blanket and ate lunch in the living room. L was super excited to give Grammy the big tour of our little house. The boys are super happy with the little house. D and I were kind of worried because it's older and smaller than our "big house" but the boys love it...so far..Grammy played hide and seek and tag with L before they headed out. I returned to the big house and worked on a few more claims  before it was time to get N from school. Man the time is going fast!!! Wow. Time just vanishes. N and I met Grammy and L at the local McDonald's. They played and I returned to the big house once more. The insurance agent visited the house again and did a very thorough inspection of the house so he can complete his construction estimate. I met Grammy and the boys at the hotel, we had the hummus and salad dinner before Grammy left to see the play Mama Mia with her friend (she said it was fabulous). D was working on the house later, so I fed the boys and got them ready for bed. I was exhausted, but I did it. I folded laundry later that night. I turned on the tv and realized that was only the second time I had watched a television show in the last seventeen days. Was a nice distraction.

On Wednesday I got N to school. L and I met Baba and Grandpa at our big house. They picked him up and watched him all day so I could work on things. When Baba and Grandpa arrived at the house they were glad to see us. At first glance I thought Baba's broken voice and red eyes were a result of allergies or a cold, but after a minute I realized she'd been upset. I should've given her a hug, but I thought she was sniffling from a runny nose. She'd just driven through town and seen the destruction for the first time. Driving through town and seeing the damage is overwhelming, shocking. I had my turn at experiencing the shock at the sight, I've seen the volunteers who made it to our house experience the shock. A former neighbor drove down from WI to visit us and give us a bag of gift cards from her friends/neighors/church (thanks again, M and friends!!!). I saw her initial shock and tears. Everyone experiences that when they visit. Today as I drove the boys to school I saw the progress. Piles of rubble are smaller and some are completely removed. It's  sign of progress, but it's also another step to the realization of just how major this tornado was. A realization of just how lucky we are to be alive!!! When the piles of rubble are gone you can see for blocks and blocks because there aren't houses there to block your view. They've all been wiped away. It just floors me to think of how many years of construction and building were wiped away in a matter of minutes...and it's going to take months and maybe years to rebuild...but we will. We will rise (as I saw on a sign today).

L enjoyed the Farm Show with Baba and Grandpa today. He brought back a bag of peanuts for Daddy and a camo hat for Daddy. L hung out at the hotel with B& G until I picked N up from school. Our neighbors invited us to meet them at Chuck E. Cheez-its (as my kids call it) to play. Quite frankly, after sitting in my car on the drive back to the hotel I realized I was utterly wiped out. Tired. Exhausted...But, if taking my kiddos to CEC to see their friends and play would make them feel happy I would find it in myself to have the energy to go. Dave was going to be a little late because he had a visitation to go to. Ya, one hit after another. One of his tractor buddies from his antique tractor club passed away Thanksgiving night. Very sad and somewhat sudden. So, he went to the visitation and we went to CEC to pass the time. It was good to see our neighbors and their kids. Talking to the other women in the neighborhood is therapeutic. we're all in the same boat as far as the amount of damage to our houses. we're all displaced, living in unfamiliar places. We're all driving back and forth, sorting through our belongings, filing claims...It's good to know I'm not alone.

Home is Where the Heart Is

We have taken 1,416 pictures in the last fifteen days. These are my favorite picture from today.

I started sorting, pitching, photographing and documenting our "soft" claims items today. I got to the spot in my pile of curtains where I had reached my brand new curtains. By brand new I mean I had purchased them and hung them up on the curtain rod, but I hadn't ironed them yet. In fact, the day before the tornado hit Mom and I had a long conversation about the curtains. Were they the right length? If they're too long would it be easier to remove the curtain rod from the wall and reinstall the rod a few inches higher or should I attempt to hem them? And how were we going to adjust the brackets to support the weight of the curtains?? I had finally convinced myself to purchase nice curtains with thermal lining and a matching valance...then they got blown around and soaked with rain water in the storm. After the storm I folded them up, laid them on a shelf and hoped I could clean them or claim them. Today when I got to my new brown curtains in the claim pile I thought, " I JUST bought these. Ugh" As I unfolded them I realized there's no use trying to save them when I saw the water stains in them. And this is the shape of the water stain on one of the panels. It's a perfect heart, but J and I agree that if you think about it you can kind of see an angel with her wings spread open and her head tilted back. Gorgeous. "Home is where the heart is?"  Certainly. "We have angels watching over us?" Absolutely. "Feel the love?" Yep, I sure do.

Black Friday

We had a great Thanksgiving Day and Mom and Dad's yesterday. Everyone was really good about pitching in to make the meal and to clean up afterwards. Mom sat at the head of the table where Dad would normally sit, but that was appropriate. She's been really strong the last seven weeks. She's still dealing with lots of "stuff" that I suspect is pretty typical after the loss of a spouse. She's also taking over everything Dad would normally due around the house in addition to doing her usual tasks. She's been a rock for my family since the tornado hit. She's a good mixture of tough (walking to my house after the tornado hit) and thoughtful. Making a meal for our family is tricky, but she did a terrific job of making it friendly for the both the vegetarians and meat lovers, for the gluten lovers and the gluten sensitive. All while dealing with the fact that Dad wasn't there. He was always good about greeting us at our car's as soon as we pulled into the drive."Hey, kiddo" he'd say and greet us with a hug. "What do you need me to carry in for ya?" Dad was good about putting the extra leaf in the dining room table, getting out extra chairs, emptying the garbage when it got filled, doing the dishwasher after the meal, cooking the meat and cutting the turkey. It was pretty obvious that Dad wasn't' there to cut the turkey and that was a bit of a reality check for me. However, my sister's husband did a good job of taking over. Preparing the meal, the table the house was a team effort but Mom was definitely the coach of this team. She should sit at the head of the table.

on our way home from Thanksgiving I told D I needed to pick something up at Target..I don't remember what I needed, but it was something basic, necessary. When we turned the corner and saw the Black Friday (err Thursday) crowd wrapped around the building we remembered it was Black Friday. Needless to say we didn't even attempt Target last night. Whatever it was we needed was not that important!! In year's past I would get super excited about Black Friday. I would scan the ads, make my list, make my plan for the day, pack snacks, water kleenex. I'd lay out my clothes so I could jump in them first thing in the morning so I could join the crowds and feel the rush. I was that person and next year I might be again, but not this year. This year my Black Friday mission was to find a rental property for my family to live in for the next handful of months while your house is being gutted and put back together.

My Black Friday mission started Wednesday night at nine when a friend texted me to see if I'd been in contact with a company that's hired by insurance companies to find rental properties for those who've been displaced due to a disaster. I hadn't heard of that! And they can help you rent furniture too? Wow! I got in contact with the lady right away and she texted me back. She texted and emailed me from nine o'clock until eleven o'clock that night, Thanksgiving Eve! She even called me a few times Thanksgiving morning and we set up an appointment to see the little house at nine this morning. It's a house, not an apartment. That means our boys can run and jump and play without disturbing anyone below or next to us. It has a one car garage. D was quick to give me the garage so I don't have to scrape my windows before getting the boys to school. It has three bedrooms and one small bedroom that we will use as a small office. D and I joked that the house is a 1960's time capsule. It's definitely seen many a tenants, but it will be our home for the next few months. We saw the house and as we were leaving another couple came in to see it after us. Another couple saw it after them. When we saw the other couple entering the house we felt the pressure of the tightening rental housing market. Eeek! We gotta tell him how interested we are. We returned to our damaged home to manage the crew that was there to help while waiting for the phone to ring........I'm glad our minds were occupied with work because that made the time go faster. Our seven person crew (ten when you add in D, D's Dad and I) ripped out carpet, pulled up tack strips, moved furniture into and out of the Uhaul, packed boxes, etc, etc. We had terrific help!! Then after a while we got the call that Joe chose us to rent the house! "We got the house!" Yay!! What a tremendous relief. A roof over our heads....A humble, quaint, nostalgic roof, but a roof nonetheless. The best Black Friday shopping I'll ever do!!

Day 11

Today was another great day. We had help from Dad's brother, M. He took a day off work and made the one hour drive to help us out. I honestly wasn't sure how I was going to react when I saw him as the last time we visited was at Dad's funeral a few weeks ago. "We gotta stop meeting like this!" If you don't know M you don't know just how much he looks, sounds and acts like Dad. It's uncanny really. I didn't know if his similarities would make me upset, but they didn't. In fact, it made made me feel Dad's presence. made me feel like he was there with us. so nice!

It was just D, M and myself, but we were a good team. We got the ruined furniture out of the front room, swept the hardwood floor and covered it with flatten boxes and rugs. we are doing our best to preserve the floor. the insurance agent assured us they will cover any damage to the floors, but if we can reduce the amount of damage we'd like to. the less damage the earlier we can get back into our house, right? once that was done we emptied the big dressers and night stands and moved them into the front room. M and his wife had a major house fire a few years ago, so they are able to offer advice on how to approach the disaster from that perspective. Valuable information!

Once we got all the furniture to the front room we were able to approximate how much more storage unit space we needed. We have a crew coming over on Friday from D's work to help us move large pieces onto a trailer to take to storage. With tomorrow being Thanksgiving we knew we needed to get a storage unit lined up before 5 today. But how was I going to call places without a computer, without a phone book and without internet access to my phone? "Who can help me??" hmm. Mom was probably busy getting ready for Thanksgiving and D's parents were busy with the boys...The library! I called the library and explained my situation to the woman on the phone. She was super happy to take my name and number and call me back with a list of storage unit phone numbers. So nice!

I got on the phone and called about seven storage unit facilities in a forty miles radius before we found one. "Sorry, we're full." Sometimes you have to get a lot of "no's" before you get a "yes." i picked up the phone to call the last number on the list and the woman had one space left and it was really big. YES!! We literally jumped in the car and headed straight there to sign on the dotted line. Not to sound too preachy, but God is definitely providing for us. On His schedule and with a little perseverance on our part, but He is providing!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Tomorrow will be seven weeks to the day that we got the call about Dad. It will be a little less than six weeks from his funeral. It will be three weeks since my refrigerator broke, two weeks since L and N had croup and one and half since the tornado hit. We've had a rough couple of months, but we remain blessed, fortunate, thankful. While we will have one empty seat at the table (and that'll be hard), we will have many seats that are full and for that we are grateful!

If the last two weeks have taught us anything it's to appreciate the things you have, even in a time of loss. Happy Thanksgiving.

Tuesday Day 10

Today was a big day. Our insurance adjustor and contractor were able to come to the house to look over the house at the same time. We were technically not allowed into our homes, but the insurance agent, contractor and D parked on the road behind our house and walked along the waterway to get in. I couldn't get my car over the curb to park on that street, so I planned on parking at our gym about 1.5 miles away and walking in. I suited up in my "tornado chique" (thanks to J for coining our current fashion) used bibs (that i picked up at the donation center) and prepped myself to walk the 1.5 miles weighted down with backpacks and bags.. Side note: If there's anything I've learned about myself (and D) this week it's this. If you present me with a challenge that prevents my family from getting what we need I'm going to fight like H to change your mind. I will try to do so with respect and graciousness, but you better believe Ill give it my all.. You are totally unaware of what you are capable of until something like this happens to you...I've had my moments of frustration/anger/weakness, but I've been given moments of strength and determination too.

As I parked my car in the parking at the gym I realized I would be walking through the tornado zone versus driving. I've driven through it a few times and every time I'm amazed at the destruction. But, driving through forces you to move somewhat quickly. Walking on other hand was going to be the slowest possible way to navigate... As I drew closer to the police officer manning that part of the street I realized these are the streets I have walked on with my kids since they were babies. We've walked, jogged, biked these sidewalks countless times observing the landscaping, animals, passersby as we go. We've had our best conversations and laughs here. Would there even be a sidewalk to walk on, a house to recognize, a landmark to familiarize myself with? I felt my sadness start to creep into my head thinking of how much these roads have meant to my kids and I and the memories we've made and I decided  i may not be able to walk this one without breaking down and crying. "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..."  I noticed the police officer was letting some cars in but not others, so i asked who was being allowed in. "Where you headed?" He didn't recognize our street name so he pulled out the map for clarification. Once he realized how far I was walking (and remember it's really cold out) he looked at me like I was crazy. "I have to meet my insurance agent and my builder. I can't miss them." At that moment another police officer arrived to relieve this man of his duties. He saw how far I was going to walk and said, "I'm here to take over your post.  We're not supposed to let anyone in, but I will let you if he escorts you."  I needed that help in that moment. If I had to walk I was going to take a deep reath and do it, but I was given a little grace instead. i needed it. (Thanks, Dad I thought to myself). I've had many little moments like that lately where I'm in the right time at the right place and I'm guided to what I need. Those moments have been happening just when I need them. I always take note of them, say thanks and "put them in my pocket" and look at them when we're having a challenging moment.

This tornado has changed our lives in so may ways. one thing I keep thinking about is the generosity of family, friends and complete strangers. We've had so many ask to help us out it's un-real. We're usually not the ones accepting help (and that's been something to get used to), but now that we know what it's like to need help we will be better at figuring out what others need when it's our turn to pitch in!

One week mark

Today was one the one week mark since the tornado hit.

This morning we took a bit of a slower start to our day as we all got to bed late last night. I'm sleeping a little better each night. The first few nights were really, really hard. Sunday night, the night of the tornado the four of us slept in the same room of the house and I wanted it that way.  By night two or three I decided I could handle heading down the hall from them and got some better z's. one morning I woke up at 2:30 and laid in bed with my mind spinning until 5:30. I fell back asleep until 8 and decided to get up and get a move on. But, last night was better.

Today Mom came to othe hotel and ate breakfast with us. The lady that makes the breakfast here is a Grandma and she enjoyed talking to the boys this morning. She chatted with them and prepared a snack for them to take with us. ;)

After breakfast D and I headed to the Red Cross MARC center set up in town. Their were numerous agencies there to offer whatever type of assistance you need. We were able to get in contact with our tv provider to work that out. The people meant well and were happy to help, but it was honestly too much for me. Too many people, too much comotions, too much. When the tornado hit my ears felt a big change in pressure. I think that has made my ears more sensitive to noise.

we headed to the house after being at hte MARC center. We are emptying out the rooms in preparation for tearing out the carpets. It was nice that D and I had some time at the house alone today to get ready for that. We finally resigned to the fact that we can't save our mattresses, so we had a friend help us haul those to the curb. We are doing our best to document all the stuff we throw out and sometimes that's tedious. so that was nice to work on that alone. in the next few days we will eventually need help ripping out our carpet and other larger tasks, but we won't know when we will be allowed back in. At this point we haven't asked friends and family for help because we're not sure when we be able to get back in for sure.

We found some treasures in our yard today. A pretty christmas shaped ornament and a high school letter from a letter jacket possibly. i posted pix on facebook to see if anyone wants to claim them.

we were supposed to take the boys to our gym for a playdate with n's classmates, but we could not convince him to go. He's just not sure about going anywhere. He'd rather stay at the hotel. He wanted to see our house, so we took the boys in. They both were surprised at the desctruction they saw on the way to our house, but handled it better than i thought. the boys were happy to see just how lucky we are with the amount of stuff we still have...but after about fifteen minutes of being at the house I could not find N. I though he was upstairs with D and D thought n was with me. When we called out for him we coudln't find him. Agh!! I panicked and started running around the yard looking for him. I was afraid he'd run over to the neighbors to see a friend like we used to do bf the storm. He hadn't. We found him sitting in the truck, in his car, ready to go. "I just wanna go back to the hotel." I sat with the boys in the car until we left. We talked about things while we waited for Daddy. N keeps singing the song from the Titanic movie. He says that song is appropriate because that song was played on the Titanic when it was destroyed and it is playing in his mind while our house is destroyed....Bless his heart! I asked him if he wanted me to tape him singing it on my phone and he said yes. That made him feel good....

Minutes before we left our house the men came by our house to restore our heat!!! Hooray!! We won't have to wear winter snow pants and snow gear inside our house anymore. The frigid temperatures are a  big concern. There are  hundreds of volunteers, police officers, electircal workers, homeowners working in these temperatures and it's cold!! I think the high was 27 today.

The minute I sat in the warm truck with the boys to wait for daddy I realized how tired i was. Oy!
I've been in super charged mode for so long i finally was able to asses that i was tired. i fell asleep in the car on the way home while d drove. We picked up pizza from a place in town that has gf crust and ate in our hotel room. the boys are watching up on tv while i type.

Tomorrow is Monday. we haven't figured out what we are going to do tomorrow. D might go back into work for a bit. We're not allowed into our homes, so the boys and I might just chill out. catch up on laundry, etc. i wish i had an oven to bake muffins in. That's something I'm looking forward to in the future. So much to look forward to. :)

tornado update

I write this post from the cozy bed of our hotel room. L sleeps next to me as he doesn't want to be in any room alone for too long. N is asleep in the other bedroom. He doesn't mind being alone, in fact I think he needs the space. And besides the two boys were being stinkers and playing around instead of sleeping so we had to separate them ;) I am so proud of my boys. They've been such great kids through all this. We've had our moments of sibling rivalry bu nothing out of the ordinary. They talk about the twister a lot and I'm ok with that. I want them to feel comfortable talking to us about it as they process their emotions.

Our first night in the hotel as a family was Friday. It's really nice. We went for a walk around our hotel "neighborhood" to find the pool, business center, eating room, and fitness center this evening. They have a table set up next to a book shelf with board games and books near the fireplace and tv. They offer a generous hot breakfast with foods we can all eat and have dinner most week nights. What a relief to be here! It's warm, there's electricity, a flushing toilet. Oh the ammenities. ;) It makes me think back five days ago when mom and I were at panera using their wifi and tables as our make shift office scrambling to find a hotel. We secured this room after calling many other places and being put on a thirty day waiting lists. We knew we had family to stay with and are super grateful for that, but we'd eventually need to get a roof over our heads. When mom and I were at Panera we were an hour away from the chaos of the tornado. We decided we were flipping back and forth between normal "civilization" where the tornado did not hit and the tornado zone where people are literally doing their best to survive.. Switching between the two zones has been mind boggling.

It was so strange to be sitting in Panera on a week day surrounded by people who wore nice clothes were fully bathed and well rested. there was a large party behind us planning some sort of gathering. they were splitting hairs over the party details that seemed so frivolous to me. i was trying to put a roof over my head, people!

Tonight (Saturday. I'm actually updating this post on Saturady) as I left our neighborhood I waived at the police man patrolling the tornado stricken area. Eight miles down the road police were shutting of traffic due to the festival of lights parade. Eight miles difference, worlds apart.

The thought of Thanksgiving, eating with family, slowing down and reflecting on our blessings is so inviting. the thought of Christmas, however, disgusts me. I don't know that I can put my words together to express why, but it does.. Black Friday ads, Christmas commercials, Christmas music all the hype to get all this stuff just seems icky. I'm sure I will have a change of heart and Christmas will be wonderful, but I don't have the brain space for that right now.

Friday was a very successful day. D's  mom and I were a great team and got us packed up to go to the hotel while my mom watched the boys at her house. We unpacked all of our belongs that had been slung into trash bags and literally laid them out into piles. We assigned one area for each family member's belongings, wrote down what they had and decided what else everyone needed. We then assigned a suitcase for each person, put their name on it with scotch tape and loaded up. Assembly line style K  handed me bags, boxes, totes and we loaded them into the car. That all sounds so simple and stragight forward but it took us hours to accomplish. I couldn't have done it without you, K. Thanks again!

As K and I were doing that Grammy took the boys to dollar general for a few things. N  picked a notebook that he's coining his travel journal in which he writes about our tornado experience. What a sweet heart. The boys had pancakes at Grammy's,, played Legos and headed home. I could not have packed with the boys around like I did. Thanks, Mom!

While Grammy, B, the boys and I were doing that, D and his Dad were at our house doing repairs adn meting with our builder. I'm almost afraid to type it and say it out loud, but we (think) we have a builder!! One more hurdle jumped. The builder is from our parents' hometown. he's honest and trusted in the community so we feel really comfortable with him. one advantage to having him that we hope to benefit from is that he may be able to use resources from a different town just far enough from the tornado are that may be fighting for supplies. we'll see.

D and his Dad have been a super duper team. They've boarded up the house, insulated windows and doors as best they can. They've been diligent about preventing our pipes, drains, toilets, appliances from freezing. they've cleaned the yard with our helpers and on and on. the list just goes on and on. Last night before we left the house (due to curfew) I took a picture of them together standing in our nook both waering overalls and carharts. I'm trying to capture our memories even though this may be a tough time. I often feel strange taking pictures but i dont' want to look back and regret not having the photos. I'm sure the picture I took of D and his Dad will be a treasure, but taking that picture made me miss my Dad. It hit me like a ton of bricks that my Dad isn't hear to help. I know Dad would've thrown himself into this situation and helped as much as he could have. But, as I told my sisters, things happen for a reason and happen in the order they are supposed to. Like I said before I would've been absolutely devastated if Dad was here helping at our house when his heart stopped. I know the physical stress would've been too much on his heart and lungs. I comfort myself with those words, but I still miss him.

So, with that said, we continue to move on and make progress. The town is getting cleaned up slowly but surely and so is our house. We stop and talk to neighbors to compare notes on damage. we are all finding out that as the days go on, the houses are settling and we are all seeing more damage. cracks in the walls, trim pulling away. Maybe the fact that we had to wait to get an adjustor out here is a good thing. time will reveal the true damage. Our next steps are to get an evaluation from a structural engineer and meet with our adjustor and contractor. after that we will determine just how sound the house is.....we continue to take pictures and video to document the changes.

tomorrow we hope to have some family time. the boys really, really want to go swimming at the pool, so we need to do that for them. We will continue work at the house and hope to have friends there to help.

We appreciate your thoughts and prayers. this is a real team effort, but we'll get through it!!
  

Twister 2013

As you know our town was hit by a tornado on the 17th. Everyone's been nice to check in on us via email, text, phone calls, facebook. we are eternally grateful for your thoughts and prayers, but we are starting to run up against our cell phone texting limit and aren't always close to a computer to keep everyone updated. I thought i'd update here to try to reach as many people at one time as I can. I apologize in advance for typos and grammar errors but i'm typing as fast as I can while I have computer time without the boys around. I'm sure if you printed out this post and circled all the typos and held it at arm's length it might look like debris, symbolic of the debris that our house is currently surrounded by. I need to get these thoughts out not only to share with you but to free up some brain space for myself. ha. We have to do lists, questions, concerns and so many other things rolling around in our heads right now. it's helpful for me to release some of my thoughts here so i can use that brain space for trying to find a rental property, pack our belongings and get our stuff to this, that and the other place, call the contractor, help a friend or even to just let me mind slow down to get some sleep.. so here goes.

we are incredibly lucky that we did not have more damage and we are exceedingly grateful to be alive. period. It is an honest to goodness miracle we are alive, especially D. He was out in the yard working on a tractor behind our house when he heard the sound of the wind changing and decided he better come into the house. the tornado whistles blew and the boys convinced me to come inside and head for the basment. as a midwesterner i have become somewhat lax in surrendering to tornado sirens. the joke is that when you hear the sirens you run to the windows to see what's coming instead of running to the basment as we were taught in grade school.. n's school had recently completed several safety drills with tornado drills being one of the so he insisted we take cover. when daddy wouldn't come down i told levi to go get him thinking levi could convince him better than i could and he did. as i look back on it i can't believe i sent levi upstairs in a time of danger like that. i'm really sorry i did because he saw the twister coming towards us through our front window before he and daddy headed downstairs. i am so, so thankful that nothing happened to him! i told myself to stop thinking about what could have happened, but it's hard to let go of. anyway...d and levi ran downstairs and as soon as d closed our basement closet door the twister hit..."It's commmmminngg!" He yelled. L jumped in my lap and n squeezed close to me as we hung onto each other. i just kept saying "Are we in the right place are we in the right place?" I was really worried we had chosen the wrong place to hide out because i was afraid our entire three story stairwell (that goes from our basement to our roof) would collapse on us. it didn't, thank goodness! I think from the time d closed the closet door to the time the twister ripped through our house only about 60 seconds lapsed. we looked at each other as we heard the glass crashing down, things hitting walls and then the pressure from the winds filled our ears until we couldn't hear at all. d jumped out of the closet immediately to determine if we should remain there or if we needed to flee. the boys and i didn't have shoes on and L was still in his jammies. d got us shoes and clothes, hats, coats, etc. we determined the basement was the best place for the boys and i to stay for a while as there was far too much glass and debris upstairs to roam around. d and i took turns huddling in the closet and packing things up for about three hours until d's parents were able to arrive. we were really glad to get the boys out of the house as smells of gas were starting to get heavy. d fired up his cat bulldozer, hooked up a trailer to the back of it and carried the boys across the muddy debris filled field. i walked behind with backpacks.I did my best to step on boards to avoid from sinking in the mud. i took one mistep and landed on a nail. i was glad i had my snow boots on because i could have been injured much worse if was wearing a shoe with a thinner sole. don't get me wrong it hurt, but i was in such survival mode that i just pulled the nail outta my foot and pressed on across the field. the weather was still questionable and i didn't want to get stuck in the field if a new storm came throug, so i walked it off. the next day i went to a prompt care in a town an hour away (because my doctor's office and other doctor's office were closed due to power outage) and get a tetnus shot, an antibiotic and some other stuff.

once we knew the boys were in safe hands with Baba (grandma) we knew we could get to work on a few things at the house. D's dad walked across the field to get to our house as there was no other way of entering the whipped up streets. i started taking pictures, throwing our clothes in trash bags and sweeping a path through the glass so we could at least walk a little bit without stepping on something. once i heard the police sirens outside and saw the cars stranded on the road behind our house i began to realize this was bad.. but i could only take care of myself and our immediate needs so i didn't look out our windows for a long time.

As i was gathering up clothes and necessities i was headed out to the garage to get a wide shop broom to sweep glass out of the kitchen i opend the garage door and there was my mom! I could not believe my eyes and i still cannot believe she made it in. i tease her that she should join the grammy marines. somehow she got into this forbidden area, threw on a rain coat and a backpack and walked approx 1.5 miles to our house in the wind and rain to be at our door step. "I can't believe youre here!! I said. "You couldnt' keep me away."

As we look out our front window at the nieghbors we realize we had a special angel (Dad perhaps) watching over us. The house across the street from ours has it's garage ripped open with cars, a tractor, garage stuff thrown into the kitchen of the house behind it. the neighbor next to that has a house that is standing but close to caving in. 100 yards out our front window the houses are no longer houses, but piles of rubbel. for whatever reason the twister took a slight right turn and spared us. our house is not liveable and won't be for 3-6 months, but we feel like we were spared. our neighbors to the east are not so fortunate. they don't have their homes, but they have their people. so far i've only heard of one fatality which is completely unfortunate but it is an absolute miracle no more lives were taken.

I think our city leaders have done a terffic job of doing their best to maintain our safety with police and fire staff on hand. staging areas for misplaced people to sleep eat, shower, make phone calls, connect with insurance adjustors, collect donations were in place very quickly. we are working around a curfew that hte city has in place. they want us to get what we can out of our homes, but they want us to be safe as night fall,  gas, rain and impending snow are dangers. not to mention possible looters. ugh!

we were able to be in our homes almost every one of the last  six days. my sister j came down to help us on wednesday. i'm so glad she was able to do that particular day because our homes were not available to us the next day. our main concerns for our home are continued water damage, the upcoming freeze, snow and looters. i had j gather up and pack all my personal bank, credit card,  bills and get them out of the house for fear that looters could take off with that information and rob us from afar. i feel so much better having that stuff outta the house. my baby sitters' showed up at our house to pack. our kids have the most terrific babysitters. they are a family of nine children. the boys have grown  up with these girls as our babysitters and they  showed up at our house to do whatever we needed. i was glad i had my faculties together and put a packing list for them. they did a terrific job of boxing  my kitchen into boxes according to my list of what items can be stored at the storage  unit we obtained and what items can go to hotel. because of their team work i was able to run in my house and grab all of our hotel boxes with a half our notice of being kicked out of our house. i was able to take those boxes to our hotel and get somewhat acclimated and set up last night. we've had such a tremendous outpouring of support. it's so touching and really gives us the strength to push forward.
what would you yank out of your house if given one day and not  a moments notice with no trailer and no car to carry it out? We're realizing what we can live without and what our true treasures are. now that we've had a couple of days to assess our damage and now that we can drive down our street we are able to pull more stuff out. for me, my treasures are the things everyone else thinks of (disks with family  photos on them, scrapbook, wedding photos, engagement ring), but anything my dad laid his hands on are golden. we were able to pull out our kitchen table and matching chairs. that table is a combo of d's family history and mine. the table was originally his grandma's, but my dad refinished it for us about a year ago. we've eaten so many dinners and done numerous crafts at that table. so for me that is my biggest treasure. everyone knew that and all the guys who helped us move it to storage unit were super gentle with it and we got it in a safe place along with the sofa table and antique mirror dad finished for us.

i think about dad quite a bit and i know he would be here to help if he could, but i think he was here in spirit when the twister hit. honestly, i would not be able to live with myself if he was at our house trying to help out right now and his heart stopped at my house during all of this. i really don't think his heart and lungs would've been able to deal with the physical and mental stress of all of this. so, if this all had to happen i believe it has happened in the right order. i was just getting over the initial shock of dad's passing and was getting us back on track and back into our routine when this hit. one set of shock to another, but i know we're going to be okay.

so, today is day six. we make progress every day, but yesterday was a big day. we felt like we were on the show "the amazing race" racing from the post office to collect and hold our mail, to the insurance agent to get the okay to move forward with a contractor to the bank to set up a new account to the lumbar yard, hotel, town hall meeting...then drive back home to be with our boys. we've had some really long days, but they're going super fast.

today our goals are to continue to winterize the house by draining dishwasher hoses, laundyr hose, refrigerator hose, toilets (d's dad has put rv antifreeze in all the toilets but one so we've had one primitive toilet to use). we're doing our best to prevent collected water from freezing in appliances and walls and caushing further damage...although insurance has assured us that sort of damage is covered we'd like to do our best to prevent what we can. we also need to do our best to looter proof our house. no good dirty looters. sick! a hometown contractor (from our parents' hometown) is set to arrive at our house (provided d he can get in to the neighborhood) at noon to give us an estimate on repairs and repair timeline. i am still at d's parents today and my goals are to organize and pack our clothes so we can move into our extended stay hotel room. we have plans to be at the hotel for thirty days but will continue to pursue rental properties because we think we will be displaced for 3-6 months.....

The boys are doing as well (or better) than can be expected. we are very fortunate that we can leave them in good hands with their Grandmas and Aunt M. Last night i asked N what they did and after a few minutes of talking he paused and said, "Baba's taking good care of us, Mom." I knew it but it was nice to hear his appreciation.

so that's a not so brief synposis of where we are. like i said above, we are grateful for your thougts and prayers.we know people feel the urge to help out in any way they can. please don't feel obligated to send us anything, but i hear other people from out of state are sending gift cards to their effected families.  I hear people are recieving gift cards for area restaurants, target, wal mart, lowes, etc. please dont feel obligated, but if that's what you want to do I'm sure we'd use it. we will need help in the weeks to come. so, while people want to come here and help right now remember we will need help in the future with moving outta the hotel into an aparment, from apartment to our house in distant future. we will keep you posted.. thanks and take care!!

Winterizing

We went home to help Mom with some winterizing chores yesterday. D and the boys prepped Dad's tractor and took it for a spin. I think Dad's tractor goes faster than any of the tractors D has owned. He kicked it in high gear and sped across the yard a couple times. L enjoyed the ride. Seeing D and L ride around the yard together reminded me of the lawn mower rides Dad took me on when I was little.

We stopped by the cemetery to "visit Dad." The weather was nice. It was mostly sunny with cloud coverage. When we walked across the cemetery the clouds moved just right and the sun streamed through. It was gorgeous!

The boys went to Baba's and Grandpa T's house so D and I could get lots of chores done for Mom. Thanks again, B&G. The boys enjoyed your homemade DF hot cocoa and playing in the leaves at your house. :)

Footprints in the clouds

When Dad passed away one of the hardest things to do was to tell the boys. One thing we told them is that Grandpa went to Heaven and that he is in the clouds watching over us now. The other day I found L walking around with his head tilted up to the sky talking. I said, "Whatcha doin, Bud?" Without hesitation or pause he said, "talking to Grandpa" and carried on. Today when we were driving home, we were just about to slip into the garage and L threw up his arms and yelled, "No, no. Stop Mom, stop!"  And when I asked him what was wrong he pointed out his window and said, "Look, look! I see Grandpa's footprints in the clouds!!" We sat and looked at them for a while before heading inside.

Grandpa and L bonkin heads and laughing

A week ago today

A week ago today we laid my Dad to rest. I am allowing myself some time and space to grieve and heal. I'm taking one day at a time and think I'm still in some state of disbelief. When I'm ready to write more I will, but for now I will say he went too soon and he is missed greatly. If you are familiar with this post you will understand what L means when he says "Mommy, I love to the moon and back covered in Grandpa N."

Leisurely Morning

Every once in a while L and I have the chance to seize the day (okay, morning) and linger. Today was one of those mornings. After a somewhat busy weekend it was nice to capture this time with him. I wanted to exercise at the gym. He didn't. We compromised on a walk outside. The weather is gorgeous, so it didn't take much convincing for me to change my mind. We've gotta enjoy this weather because, whether we believe it not, these extended summer temperatures will end (hopefully not abruptly, hopefully gradually) and winter will be knocking at our door. So, today L and I went on a walk. We walked and we played at the "Blue and White Park" as my kids call it. We got deep into pretend land pretty quickly at the playground. After a nice long while on the swings, L ran to the play equipment and declared it his "castle boat." He gave me the tour, we (pretended to) fired up the engines, steered the ship and set sail. We squirted away the big sharks, dodged an iceberg and climbed the rock walls. We eventually parked our boat at the imaginary dock and walked to the library. After picking out our standard ten books and four DVDS (no VHS tapes please) we walked home. L picked up a few leaves and pine cones along the way to add to his "nature box" in the garage. We spotted bugs and watched the silly squirrels. We counted the skid steers and listened to the birds. We took it all in. We got home and my nature loving boy requested hummus and carrots for lunch and we ate. These days are so sweet and dear to me. I soak them in. I know someday both my boys will be off at school and I will be back at work and I will reminisce about my time at home. Not every morning as a stay at home Mama is blissful, but every once in a while they are and I savor it.

Not a single complaint

Everybody in my family liked the meal I made for dinner tonight and nobody made a single complaint about anything. That's blog worthy, People.

Freezer Cooking

I've always thought freezer cooking is such a smart thing to do, but I hadn't done it until now. This weekend was boy scout appreciation weekend at Costco, so I planned my freezer cooking weekend around that. Man, Costco is like no other place on earth! I'm so glad I had a list to keep me focused. Anyway, I made mostly meats and meat sauces rather than entire meals. I figure this is my first go at this so I'd start kinda simple and work my way up to full meals in the future. Here are the recipes I did. I froze some in dinner portions and some in lunch portions. I got eight dinner portions and twelve half to one cup lunch servings. Earlier this week I also made an entire bag of pancakes that I'd guess produced three dozen GFDF blueberry pancakes (not pictured).

Sloppy Joe's
BBQ Crock Pot Chicken
Chicken for PF Chang Lettuce Wraps
Bolognese Sauce
Debbie's Chicken in Marinade (From Freezer Cooking Manual 30 Day Gourmet)

To The Moon and Back

Several months ago I started saying, " I love you to the moon and back" to the boys every night before bed. One night L surprised me and added something to the end. He said, "I love you to the moon and back covered in chocolate!" Oh boy does he know his Mama!! Now every single day at nap time and every single night at bed time he says something different. Here are some of the things he's said.

I love you to the moon and back covered in apples.
I love you to the moon and back covered in chips.
I love you to the moon and back covered in bananas and pickles.
I love you to the moon and back covered in ketchup.
I love you to the moon and back covered in flashlights.
I love you to the moon and back covered in whoppers.
I love you to the moon and back covered in spadeady (spaghetti).
I love you to the moon and back covered in Branson.
I love you to the moon and back covered in Super Heros.
I love you to the moon and back covered in bicycles.
I love you to the moon and back covered in vacation.
I love you to the moon and back covered in spiders.

The list goes on and on and on. Sometimes he's super silly and makes up words. One day at nap time he was making up words and happened to say, "I love you to the moon and back covered in hooters." To which I slowly closed the door, walked down the hall and busted out laughing. I think I may have texted that one to Daddy.

Better Eat My (GFDF) Wheaties!

For several years I've wondered if our oldest has food allergies. I've wanted to get him tested for quite some time, but I haven't due to my fear of how he'd react to the testing (blood draw). I suspected my own food allergies. I decided to pursue my health first and underwent all the testing myself in hopes of getting better educated and in hopes of reducing the number of tests my son would have to go through. Once I had my food allergies mostly figured out and my diet under control I had the confidence and experience to pursue his food allergies. I put off  getting him tested for as long as I possibly could, but after watching him struggle to get through a 45 minute soccer class without sitting or laying on the floor in exhaustion and frustration I decided it needed to be done. After seeing him cry because he couldn't run as fast or as far as the other kid it was time. After watching him tucker out at tumbling class next to kids who were still moving full steam ahead, I realized it was time. And after rushing him into the shower after his eczema had a painful reaction to the chlorine at the pool, it was clear I needed to do something. A friend of a friend who has children with food allergies of their own had been "through the ringer" of doctor's appointment and was able to recommend a pediatrician who, even though he's over seventy years old, is open to new and somewhat alternative medicine and food allergy testing. I could not be happier with this doctor. He's a breath of fresh air. He is a combination of sweetly old fashioned (he called me himself with the test results) and eagerly open minded. He's guided us step by step through the pediatric food allergy testing process and has helped us to determine that N has numerous food allergies (approx 22) at various levels. Right now we are focusing on the highest reactors (most of which are dairy) and we'll pursue his other allergies after we decide if we're going to do any more testing. In the mean time, we are educating N, his teacher, his friends and family in what he can and cannot eat. We've purchased children's books about food allergies and donated one to his class room to educate his friends. We're making trips to the grocery store to explore new foods. We've found some we've liked and given the thumbs up to and some N doesn't like that got the 'ol thumbs down. And that's okay. I told N I have worked through lots of foods to find things that taste good to me and I will work through it with him to find what he likes. Our most recent finds are soy chocolate milk that he can take to school. He won't drink it every day, but he likes that he can drink chocolate milk like the other kids. We've discovered that some instant pudding mixes do not have dairy in them and can be successfully made with almond milk. We'll learn how to package those up for school lunch treats. A friend told us that Oreos are dairy free! Yay! We're also working on trying new fruits and veggies and "real" meats to maintain a healthy diet.We're having fun looking at pinterest for gluten free/dairy free (so we can all eat them) muffin recipe for breakfast. All the cooking is a little extra work for me, but I'm rewarded on a daily basis knowing and seeing with my own eyes that N is feeling better. We went for a one hour hike in the woods the other day. In the past he may have had the endurance for 1/4 to 1/2 that amount of time. We started reducing his dairy intake before vacation and he was able to walk all over the theme park with less whining and fatigue. Today, after a full day of school, N came home and asked to play "Red Light, Green Light." We did. Then the boys wanted to play baseball, so we did. Then they wanted to play soccer....we did. After dinner he came upstairs and asked to do my exercise tape. It's low impact and safe for a child his age to do, so I put it in and did it (for the second time today) with him. The whole time he had a big smile on his face and kept saying,  "I feel good, Mom. I feel good!" I held back tears of joy. Our hard work is paying off! I'm sooo glad I feel as good as I do because I'm gonna need all the help I can get to keep up with him! Better eat my (gluten free, dairy free) Wheaties.

Bumble Bee

It's a stormy night, but never fear! Bumble Bee is here to protect us! However, he is sleeping on the job. I found N sleeping in his Halloween Bumble Bee Transformer costume, mask and all! (For safety reasons I will take the mask off.)

Thailand

Daddy recently returned from a fifteen day trip to Thailand. We are sooo happy to see him!! This is Daddy's third big trip to another country in less than a year. The boys and I made cards to put in his suitcase again, but I can't find the pictures I took of that this time. Oops. Last time it was very snowy and cold when he was gone. Lots of my family and friends skipped outta town for warm, sunny vacations. This time, the weather is much nicer and friends, family and neighbors are home. Being able to play outside and having family here to help made a huge difference! The boys enjoyed the nights Grammy stayed with us and the days that Grandpa mowed. Thanks for your help, Mom and Dad.

 Last time D was gone we had record snow fall. This time we had record rain fall and flooding that will go down in history. We were fortunate enough not to have flooding in our house, but lots of people did.

Park underwater. Can you see the tippy tops of the
red and yellow  playground equipment? And the roof of the
picnic shelter? 

This is one of our favorite burger places. You'd never guess their
back parking lot is under all that water.

Daddy was gone over two weekends. The first weekend he was gone the rains were falling and the flooding was approaching. I didn't realize the flooding was going to get as bad as it was. I didn't realized it until we went downtown to the museum and saw roads blocked off and people sand bagging. That's when it hit me. Wow! We looked at the sand levies before heading into the museum to play for the morning.

D tried his hardest to plan his trip around lots of holidays (both Thai and American) and events, but he just couldn't figure out a time to be gone without missing something. We did our best to send him pictures and video from various occasions, especially N's Spring school program. Grammy and Grandpa attended the program. I think N really appreciated seeing them in the crowd. :) The Spring play was titled "How Does Your Garden Grow." N and several other boys in his grade played the part of weeds and did a really cute rap. N really got into it.

Mom and the boys did a great job of making my Birthday special since D was gone and lots of people sent me cards and emails. Thanks everyone! I woke up to Birthrday decorations all over the house and homemade gifts from the boys. Grammy and the boys took me out for breakfast at a local family restaurant and we skyped with Aunt J. D planned ahead and sent me the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers. He ordered them the day before he left and included a hand written note with them. I cried when I saw his handwriting on the card because I knew he had to plan ahead to do that. Thanks, honey! Mom watched the boys one night so I could go out and use up a gift card for a massage! Aaaah. Mom and the boys made me gluten free,dairy free cupcakse that were amazing! Mmm.

Day ten and eleven are always the hardest for me for some reason. Maybe it's because the boys were up in the night every single night?  Maybe? Hmm. Possibly. Fortunately Mom was here and I got to recoop with a nap.

Daddy returned home late on a Friday night after the boys were asleep. I was so happy to see him. Giddy, really! He was able to stay awake until our usual bed time then crashed and burned. He popped right up at 4am the next morning and we were off and running to our home town tractor show. Nothing much slows D down. He did, however, fall asleep on the couch at 7pm the first three nights after he got home from his trip.
He was wide awake 5am the first few days after he got home and had intended on keeping that routine, but has fallen back into his routine by now.

A few days after D got home he and I headed up to the windy city for an overnight to celebrate my Bday (belated) and Mother's Day in one. We had a great time. That was the first time we'd been to Millenium Park. We happened to get a great deal on a room at the Palmer House and saw a taping of the Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me Show. So fun.

Now we're catching up on things that got a little behind while D was gone. Last weekend I watched the boys while D fixed a toilet, the washing machine, mowed and set up traps to catch a trail of ants in the garage. This weekend we're ripping out a portion of the ceiling and wall in the living room that has been damaged due to a leaky drain in a shower. Busy, busy.

St. Patty's Day

We had lots of fun with St. Patty's Day this year. While we decided to forego the parade this year on account of it being cold (and me being tired from going to a Mom conference), we still had fun at home.
N's teacher encouraged the kids to make a Leprechaun trap. The kids turned them in before Friday and left them out in the classroom over the weekend to see if they could catch a Leprechaun. N and L enjoyed making their traps so much that, to date, they've made three sets of traps. It is for these fun projects that I save washed plastic fruit containers, capri sun boxes, peanut butter jars, toilet paper rolls, etc in our "junk box." Our junk box is nearly depleted now, so I will have to save up some more stuff for future use. The boys were so into their traps that they left them out at home on Saturday night to see if they could catch the little guy. We did not catch the Leprechaun (or the "trap guy" as L calls him), but he did leave his footprints, some donuts, a few candies and a mess of all our green toys he could find. We decided maybe we need to do something to prevent the little guy from coming into our house next year 'cause he made such a mess. N suggested we put all our baby gates across our exterior doors to prevent him from coming in. Good thinking, Buddy.