A Year Ago

This time one year ago I was sitting across the table from my Father in Law eating what would be the first of many fast food meals together. Dressed in the warmest clothes we could scrounge up and tattered from the storm, we realized we hadn't stopped to eat or drink anything for lunch or snack. We were glad we'd had a big breakfast to get us through the day. We had to drive through several towns on our way home before we reached a restaurant with electricity and the electricity at this place had just come back on.

The kids had been at Baba's for several hours. My mom, my father in law, my husband and I had worked several hours to close up the house as best we could. We'd used tarps and nails from the garage. Two by fours and pieces of wood were taken off the ground and used to fasten the tarps over windows and doors. We had to take the garage door off the garage in order to remove our vehicles, but that meant our home wasn't quite as secure. If memory serves me right, it took us a few days to get wood up over the garage door in place of the tarps.. We made every effort to secure our home but it still felt very vulnerable. A swipe of a pocket knife could slice open a tarp and en elbow to an already compromised window pane could have easily gained a person entry into our place. The four of us had done everything we could with every last bit  of energy we had to climb ladders, swing hammers and pack suitcases before darkness, cold and police forced us to evacuate. Leaving our house was reminiscent of leaving our baby in the NICU. We'd done our best, but we wondered if that'd be enough to keep our house safe. Worries of looters fluttered in our minds but we didn't have the extra energy to spend on things we couldn't control. We had taken countless pictures of the house that day. Not only did we want to record the damage to the property for insurance purposes, but we wanted to photograph our belongings as they sat when we left the house in case vandals pounced. Our most precious possessions, our family members, were safe. And at the end of days one and two that's all I really cared about. "I'm Alive" as Kenny Chesney's song says is all that mattered. Sure, I wanted to repair our house, but in the most desperate of times, the only thing that mattered to me was that my people were okay.

That night we dropped our suitcases on the living room floor of my in laws house. We set up the hide a bed, air mattress and couch in the living room as our living quarters. It was a few days before we were ready to sleep in rooms separate from each other. The slightest discomfort from sleeping on a couch or air mattress didn't matter because we wanted to be close.

I knew today, the one year anniversary, was coming. It is a square on the calendar, after all. It is inevitable that the days and hours will tick down and one morning I would wake up and it would be the one year anniversary. You can't avoid it. However, I didn't anticipate the weight of the day. I told myself I'd focus on all the wonderful people who helped us. I would focus on the gift cards, cookie trays, cards, fleece blankets, boxes of specialty foods, home cooked meals, packages of stuffed animals and candies we received. I would focus on the amount of time and effort coworkers, families, friends, friends of friends and strangers put in to helping at our house. I'd set my thoughts on memories of the block party, the clothing, toy and shoe giveaways. I'd remember good friends coming to play with us at our hotel and friends meeting us at Chuck E Cheese to get the neighbor kids together. We made efforts to meet up for pizza and play time at Jumping Jax. So many, many terrific memories. I did my best to set myself up to have thoughts of gratitude and for most of the day today I was grateful. But, I'll be honest, I didn't wake up that way. I sent a text to my mom and my sister early in the morning that said, " I'm both grouchy and grateful today. I'm headed over to a neighbors to hang out with other tornado ladies. Maybe they will have mixed emotions too."
Today I had moments of being ticked off, sad, scared and annoyed. I was annoyed because every time I turned my head I had a  memory of what happened in that spot on that day and I couldn't really turn that off. After a while I came to the realization that I hadn't really ever turned off the "instant replay" button in my head since the moment the tornado hit. I realized that everywhere we look there is a memory good or bad of things that happened that day and I bet we'll have those moments of instant replay for  some time to come. I went to my friend's house and hung out with other tornado ladies as I mentioned, and that was the best thing any of us could have done. It was good for us to be together to chat about where we are now and where we were that day. Somehow sharing time with them gave me peace.

As the one year anniversary date comes to an end I am back to being content and grateful. Our home is warm, our lights are on and our water is running. Our family is healthy and everything else is just icing on the cake.We are home. We are home sweet home and we are immensely thankful.While we still have insurance details to wrap up, boxes to unpack and a few things to organize, we are settled in. We won't be sleeping on couches or air mattresses.

There was a point in the last year where we'd eaten so much fast food that my husband and I said we'd never eat a single french fry again in our life. Ironically, last night when we took our parents to dinner to commemorate the one year anniversary we both at french fries!! I guess that's yet another sign that we're back to normal.

Anniversary approaching

Our town is hosting several events to mark the one year anniversary of the tornado. An obstacle course will be held as a metaphor to note all the obstacles we've overcome in the last year. Church services, prayer breakfasts, a craft show and a community walk will take place. Small groups will gather at home and social media groups are already chatting. The anticipation of the anniversary is palpable. Helicopters fly over our community every day to gather the latest footage of recovery. Radio and television stations are promoting their feature stories and have been for days. Newspapers publish articles. It's all the talk online. The media in every form buzzing around the city takes us all back to that day. I don't recall hearing the helicopters whirling overhead the day of the tornado but others in town do. Many have said that sound stirs up their emotions much like the tornado siren tests, wind, fire alarms and rescue vehicles does for me. The thought of the media in relation to the tornado takes me back the evening of the tornado. That days seemed like several long days strung together with no break for meals or night time. Surely that day was more than twenty four hours. D and I and our parents worked super hard all day to get the boys to safety and to button up our house that we hadn't looked passed our property. When we emerged from the rubble and made our way to the outskirts of town we saw countless media vehicles. Due to curfew and darkness we were on our way our way out of town. Media from all over the state had their vehicles parked on the edge of the interstate. With their tripods set up and their flood lamps on, a row of reporters situated themselves in the ditch with the devastation in the background. That was when it hit me that this was bad….

I can't possibly sum up all my thoughts in a couple of paragraphs, so I will share them in a handful of posts. 

Eat, Sleep, Breathe

Our insurance gives us 360 days, not quite a full year, to wrap up our claims for our dwelling and our personal property. We've been granted an extension of about forty five more days, but those forty five extra days happen to fall during Thanksgiving and Christmas. And as we all know those two holidays  require their own amount of attention and preparation. Our goal is to get our receipts turned in before the holiday hustle and bustle but it's nice to know we have a little time in case we need it. In our experience we've found that it takes a considerable amount of time for the insurance company to do their part after they get our packet, so we're trying to allow time for that. For the past couple of weeks D has been emailing and calling the new person (having a new person to deal with is another topic for another time) who been assigned our claim. He hadn't heard from her until yesterday and she said she hadn't even opened the two packets of receipts and dwelling claims we sent her almost two months ago. Oy! She's totally swamped. I would not want to be in her shoes!

As we are locating our receipts we need to recall where we bought the item. Did we make that purchase in a store or online? If we bought it in a store we have to think about where we were living at the time. If we bought that thing while living in the hotel we put the receipts in one designated spot. If we were living in the rental house it was in a certain spot and if it was purchased after moving back home it can be found in a new spot. Our receipts have some miles on them. They've been packed up and moved with each new place we lived. We feel like we've made every possible effort to keep things organized, but there inevitably is the missing receipt. Once we've dug through boxes and baskets to find that missing little piece of paper it's like winning the lottery to find it!! But before we unfold that paper we say a tiny little prayer that the ink is still legible. Online receipts are a Godsend! We can search through email and store accounts to find the receipt or order history and print a fresh new receipt.

Yesterday I planned my day around insurance work. I planned to exercise early in the morning so I could work on personal property claims while L was at preschool. When he got home we ate lunch and played a little. Then a friend (who had the day off for parent teacher conference asked to play) knocked on the door and asked to play. I said if it was okay with his mom he could play inside our house while I work on claims. It was okay with her, so L and P played really well in the basement while found receipts, made copies, identified their claim line item number and  calculated their totals. Soon it was time to send our friend home and get N off the bus. My boys had a snack and while they played I continued with more receipts. D got home from work and we talked about insurance while I cooked. We talked over a few things while we ate and while we put dishes away. After dinner the boys played well again so we continued our conversation. We played with the boys, got them to bed and continued to work on receipts. By about eight o'clock I was burnt out on receipts so I took a break from them to take advantage of a good sale on Christmas cards. We dream about receipts and we wake up early thinking about them. Come to think of it, we eat, sleep and breathe insurance these days.

We are beginning to see the light at the end of the insurance tunnel, but we've also come to a realization. And that realization came to light yesterday after talking to the insurance agent. She was  nice but, because she is new to our claim, D had to start at the beginning of this whole ordeal and walk her through emails and conversations we've had over the history of the account to catch her up to speed. Just when we think we are done and we've buttoned things up and handed them in, we have to revisit the details. It's exhausting but I can honestly say that overall our insurance has been really good to us. We're just so ready to be done with all of this.

Home Sweet Home

Three months ago today we moved back into our house. It's been a busy three months, but we are deeply grateful to be home! Home Sweet Home and "Home is Where the Heart is"  have taken on different meanings for us now. The first few weeks home were bliss. Despite all of our belongings being boxes stacked all over the house we were ecstatic to be home. We could feel the stress leave our bodies. We were so much lighter. We still had a ton of work ahead of us to button up our rental, sort out our mail delivery, turn off cable, move garbage and water back to our landlord's name, etc, etc. Twenty one days (and one major concussion) after the moving trucks took our stuff from our rental house to our big house we turned over the keys to our rental, "the little house." And believe it or not it was bittersweet to close the door on that little place. We made so many memories there. That was the place we survived this thing. The boys wanted to buy that house. There for a while they didn't want to return to our "big house." D and I were working our fingers to the bones to get back home and the boys would rather not go back..Oy! It wasn't until later that we discovered the boys didn't want to return to our big house because they thought the men doing the work at our house (painters, contractors, carpet layers, etc) were not going to leave our house after the work was done. For all they knew the people who had been working at the house were going to live there with us after it was done. They thought they were going to have to share our house with them forever. Their minds were put at ease a few weeks after we moved in when they realized just the four of us would be living here.

After we turned in the keys for the little house we regained time in our day. We were no longer going over to the big house every night for two or three hours to work on things. Every night we would eat dinner and we'd all load up and head to the other house to get whatever work we could get done before getting the boys to bed. And on the weekends we'd wake up and head to the big house to work all day long. Honestly, we worked hard and I'm really proud of all of us for doing so much work, but it was completely exhausting. We went on adrenaline for so long that our exhaustion didn't catch up to us until recently. A person can only go so long at this pace and at the stress level. We are fortunate to have most of our neighbors back in their homes in our neighborhood and it's interesting. We have all experienced our share of minor (and some major) health issues that we attribute to the stress of the last ten months.

At one point this summer my goal was to unpack three to four boxes each day. I was also trying to do fun things with the boys to enjoy summer. That proved to be too much, so I finally surrendered. D came home one night and I said "I am surrendering to the boxes. I can't do it all." We only have so much time for summer so I surrendered and enjoyed the boys and made memories....Now that the boys are back in school I've gotten back to unpacking. We still catch ourselves looking for things and we occasionally realize an item was lost in the storm that we'd forgotten about. There are multiple times a day I  have to remind the boys and others that we no longer have an item because we lost it that day.

We are super grateful to be back in our neighborhood to be with our friends and with the kids' friends. We are excited to see the amount of construction that's happening around us because that construction means that the rest of our neighbors and friends will be home soon. However living in an area with this much construction going on at once has proven to be both frustrating and dangerous. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's a minor miracle that we haven't had a collision on our streets and I'm crossing my finger that it won't happen! You just have to build in an extra five to ten minutes any time you leave the house because chances are you're gonna have to wait your turn to weave your way down the streets. Our bus stop has been moved due to the construction which has presented more challenges than I anticipated. We're hoping that's a temporary set up and the bus will get moved back to it's original place.

With all of that said we would not change anything. We are happy to be home and we find ourselves saying "aren't you glad we're not going back to the little house" frequently. We continue to think about all our friends who are not back in their homes. Our hearts go out to them. We try to support them by making food for them, helping them move things when needed, they borrow tools and use our bathroom when needed. We really, really feel for them. So please continue to keep our community in your thoughts and prayers. We've made considerable progress. but we still have ways to go.

5 Shirts

We returned the keys to our rental house this morning. Yay! We're really excited to get that behind us, but that little house will forever hold a special place in my heart. We made lots of memories under that roof in the six months we lived there. Christmas, New Year's, Birthdays, Mother's Day, Lost Teeth, Game night, Snow Days and sidewalk chalk were all had at that house. We made the best of the situation and I'm really proud we pushed through and did the special things that we did.

The other day D came home from work. He was standing at the kitchen sink washing his hands and I watched him. He looked different but I couldn't figure out why. Was it a new pair of jeans? A different hat?? "Honey, you look different. I can't figure out what it is.." He wasn't sure. After a minute it occurred to me. His shirt was different!! I hadn't seen that shirt in over seven months. When the tornado hit I packed an overnight bag for the boys and I and D  packed one for himself. I remember thinking (I was clearly in a major state of shock) I better pack two to three shirt for each of us because "we'd probably be out of the house for two to three days" before we could return. The day after the tornado I came to the realization that we'd be out of the house a little bit more than originally planned, so I grabby three or four more outfits. Mom grabbed five pairs of work pants and five work shirts for D. I remember us joking and saying, "We're gonna have to send him back to work at some point." Five shirt would get him through a week of work, right? Well, those five shirts got him through seven months. He wore those five shirts all winter because that's all we had. Why go out and buy more long sleeve shirts when you know you have ten more of them in storage? In the last few days we have unearthed D's summer shirts and some of mine...and we are wearing them. It's so nice to have more than a handful of outfits to wear. Such a luxury. 

We're home, however

We moved back into our home two weeks ago. We are elated to be back! We worked so hard to get to this point. Even if our stuff is still in boxes and isn't quite in it's place it's (mostly) under one roof and back in our home. There's no other feeling of relief quite like it.....However we have a set back going on. We went to a minor league baseball game last weekend with N's boy scout troop. After the game there were fireworks and the scouts and their families got to camp out on the baseball field. It's such a neat thing for the kids to do. Daddy, N and L talked me into camping out with them. The stuff I remember was really fun, but things went south late in the night when I woke up with terrible stomach pain. I woke D up and I told him we needed to go to the ER. We were on our way out of the tent to head that way and I passed out. I stood up to walk and I kept on going and landed flat on my back. I really shook my melon. After extensive testing and a stay at the hospital it was determined that my head is full of nice healthy brains, but I sustained a severe concussion from my fall.

The first few days of being home were really tricky. I couldn't handle any noise, light, temperature or weather change. My appetite was less and I certainly couldn't do any chores or play with the boys. My head and neck were both very tender but I was also nauseous, dizzy, weak, fatigued and slow. Slow to walk,  think,  talk, comprehend. Just plain slow. I still feel slow in conversations, but I'm catching up in all the other areas. I'm getting to the point where I can handle stimulation from about two of my five senses at a time. A friend of mine works with neuro patients and she said it very well when she said to take one sense at a time. I feel like I am getting closer to handling the normal level of noise and commotion at our house but I'm not ready to go out into public and negotiate all that noise, motion, light, driving, etc. In fact, I think I've only left the house five times in the last nine days. I usually leave the house that many times in about two days. Ha!! I'll get there, but I've gotta take it slow. 

Today marks day number nine of life with a concussion and day fifteen of being back in our house. Over all today was both icky and wonderful. I felt pretty bad in the morning but this afternoon and evening were wonderful. It felt like our first true day of true life in our house. D got his tractor out (and got it stuck in the mud), the boys played outside, we opened the kiddie car wash for the season, D and L planted flowers, I got a few boxes unpacked, D made a trip to Menards and we ate a nice dinner. I'm really learning to appreciate the littlest things that I normally take for granted. I now realize how much we do on a daily basis that our bodies can handle without us even thinking about it.

We've made it through this week with a lot of help from family and friends. We really could not have done it without you! Thanks so much!

Be funny with attitude

Last night before we left the "big house" there was one last thing I wanted to do with the boys. I knew the carpet crew was coming the next day to lay down carpet, so I knew we better do it quick. I wanted to write quotes on our bedroom floors to put some good vibes in the house, so that's what we did. We know the quotes will be covered with carpet, but I thought it'd be fun to have messages in our rooms even if we can't see them. We wrote a few quotes from Pinterest in each room, but N came up with one on his own that I thought was really sweet. "Be funny with attitude." And you know what's funny about this picture? No matter what I do I cannot get it to rotate. So you'll just have to be funny with attitude and enjoy it the way it is!

We visited the house today and the carpet in the living room is done. It feels so good that N laid down on the floor and did carpet angels. Ha! (The first time we did carpet angels was in our hotel room in Nashville on spring break this year. That's another story for another time). The rest of the carpet is laid down in the house. The guys will return tomorrow to finish the install. Yay!! Woo-hoo!

Ants

We had ants in the house for a few days last week. I thought for sure those tiny little creatures were going to send my right over the edge! They could have very easily been the final straw that broke this camel's back, but I didn't let them. They were everywhere and they were smart! I turned on the vaccuum and honest to goodness they did an about face and started walking towards the front door as soon as they heard it. L and I (and the babysitter. She handled the ants very well. "At least they're just ants and not roaches.") sucked up those little boogers but as soon as we were out of the room they returned and multiplied. They started out by the front door, then worked their way into the kitchen near the stove, then up the wall, then onto the coutner!!! One morning I reached into our cabinet to pour myself a cup of water (don't drink the water! It smells. Poor it from the gallon jug) and the cup was swarming with hundreds of ants. Girl 'bout lost her ever lovin mind!! I threw the cup in the garbage, tied up the bag and put it in the garage. Because at least if the ants got outta the bag they'd be in the garage, right?  In the morning the boys like to bring their blankies into the front room when they watch tv. Well, the ants liked their blankies too. They got into N's blanket and took a ride to his room and got into his bed. Ahhh!!

Our landlord has been really good to respond to each and every issue  we've had and he's been really good to get things fixed ASAP. Before we moved in he was quick to replace the strap on the garage door opener so it wouldn't fall on top of my van. When the kitchen faucet wouldn't turn left or right, he replaced it. When the furnace wouldn't run, he got a repairman to fix it. When he noticed a dead tree was getting wobbly, he cut it down. When the bathroom faucet broke and leaked, he replaced it. After the kitchen window fell out onto the kitchen table one morning at three o'clock, he moved as quickly as he could to replace. When the ants came marching in, he sprayed 'em and set out traps and it worked. The ants have left the building!!

Mother's Day 2014

Every year we get together on a Saturday in early May with D's family to celebrate three birthdays and Mothers' Day (three Mothers celebrated at once). So, our Mothers' Day celebration started last weekend. Unfortunately S was sick with seasonal allergies, so she didn't make it up to see everyone. However, for those who were able to make it, we had a great time. We had played, visited and ate lunch. When the kids started getting squirrely we played in the back yard. It was a tiny bit chilly outside, but still warm enough to enjoy a solid game of "What time is it Mr. Fox?" After burning off some energy the kids dug in Grandpa's dirt for a little while. He gave them each a penny to bury. Next time we go back we're going to see if any money trees have sprouted. ;)

After visiting at D's parents' house we stopped by my Mom's house. The boys really enjoyed chilling out and watching a little tv while I visited with Mom and D got Dad's lawn mower running. We saw Mom's new counter top for the first time. It looks really nice. Dad actually ordered that counter top several weeks before he passed away, so the counter top project has been in the works for quite some time. The first time it was delivered the counter top wasn't the right size, so it had to be be remade and installed a second time before it was in place just right. The end product looks really nice.

Mom and Dad's neighbor, Randy has been a huge help to Mom since Dad passed away. We have so many questions we'd love to ask Dad and lots of them involve mechanical things that he used around the house. Before Dad passed away he bought a riding lawn mower at an auction. Dad had it running but after sitting all winter Mom couldn't get it turned back on and Randy couldn't get it to work either. So when D gave it a try he wasn't real sure he could fire it up either. After some tinkering and experimenting he got it going! Yay! We clapped for him. He mowed the lawn and gave Mom a lesson on how to start it. We visited a little longer before heading home. It was a such a nice, relaxing day. It was refreshing to have a break from our tornado to do list!!

Yesterday was the last day a local church held it's child care service. They call it Strong Kids. It's been a wonderful ministry to those of us in the community who've been effected by the tornado!!! Each Saturday we dropped the boys off at the church at nine and picked them up at noon. The boys played games, did crafts, did experiments, "ice skated" in the hallways (with wax paper) and played with friends. Almost all of our neighbor kids went to Strong Kids at one point or another in the last five months, so the kids have been able to keep in touch. It's been amazing. They even provided a meal every Saturday after Strong Kids free of charge if you wanted to eat with them. Yesterday we dropped the boys off, did some work at the house and returned for the meal. Afterwards Mom came over and watched the boys for the afternoon so we could get some work done. She stayed and treated us to Chinese food at the big house for dinner. She was there to join us in our first P.I.G. (picnic in the garage) since the tornado. We just love eating meals in the garage in nice weather. It was super sweet to do our first PIG and it was special to have Mom their with us. We shared gluten free dairy free cupcakes in celebration of Mother's Day and we gave Mom the pink Superhero card that L picked out for her.

Today, the actual Mother's Day, we had some fun, but we mostly worked. The boys let me sleep in until 8:45, D  made me eggs and ham and N served me. The boys gave me frames they painted with Grammy with their picture inside. They were super sneaky in making and wrapping them! I had no idea they did that!! So cute. They also made some really sweet cards. After breakfast it was time to get to work.

The first to do on our list was to remove the carpet and padding in our basement. Our dumspter is going to be hauled off this week. We wanted to take advantage of that before it's gone, so we put the carpet and padding in it Saturday.

Our painter is supposed to start painting this week. Yay! I needed to finalize our color selections, so that's what I worked on. I still have two more colors to choose, but the major paints are chosen. The foyer colors have been super tricky for me. I think we found two colors we both like. I like to buy sample sizes of each color and paint them on the wall before committing to them. I'm really glad I did that in our foyer because the colors have proven to look completely different in our house versus in the store. We have decided to have the painter put a fresh coat of paint on our laundry room, so I took down the things hanging on those walls and cleaned out some stuff that had been siting in their. I also took random nails and screws and wall hangings down from the walls all over the house so the painters don't have to mess with that.

We tackled our fridge/freezer this weekend. Ugh!! Right after the tornado hit we emptied the fridge and drained the hoses for the water and ice cube maker and we threw out all the food. We thought we were doing the right thing by keeping it unplugged all winter. We were afraid with all the snow and ice we got this winter that the electricity would go out and the fridge would get damaged by freezing temps or power surges. The fridge has been sitting unplugged for nearly six months. About a week ago we opened it and discovered mold. Ewww. We tried to claim the fridge and asked insurance to replace it but they won't because "the mold is not a direct result of the tornado." However, if we plug it back in and it doesn't work, they will cover it. So this weekend we cleaned it and plugged it back in and we are going to keep an eye on it to see if it is working properly....I doused that baby with clorox spray and took it apart as best I could. I still need to flush out the water line and check the ice machine to see what those things look like, but the rest looks pretty good.

As we plugged in the fridge D said he was going to turn on the AC to see if it's working. (He had to pull all the nails and screws out of it first) He cleaned out the AC, turned it on aaaaand nothing. Nada. Nope, the AC doesn't work. We got one thing (the fridge) half way working and have now discovered another thing that doesn't work. One step forward two steps back. Time to submit another claim.

We had intended on going out to eat this evening for Mother's Day but we ended up working kinda late at the house and storms were heading our way, so we ended up ordering pizza (our place offers GFDF!) and eating inside at the big house. The boys and I prefer to be at our big house when storms hit because it has a basement whereas our rental does not have a basement. By the time we ate dinner and picked up the house the storms were gone. So, we headed home and wrapped up our day. I'd say we worked hard and played hard this year for Mother's Day. Maybe next year we'll get a chance to relax a little more than we did this year.

This Time Last Year

I slid myself across the booth at the crowded Mexican restaurant. No need for menus, thank you. We knew what we wanted to eat. Chilaquilas for me, please. I'd been looking forward to the Chilaguilas all day. Yum! That's one recipe I never did figure out how to make at home before going dairy free.

"So today was a big day!" D says.
"Oh, ya?" I  fold my hands together and lean forward in anticipation of what he was going to say.
"I took the job," he said with both excitement and hesitation.
"Oh," is all I could say as my posture sank into the booth and my eyes turned down to look at my hands. A lump grew in my throat as I fought back tears and anger. We'd weighed the pros and cons of the job offer. I think we even literally wrote them on paper, a column for pros, a column for cons. I left the last round of pros and cons feeling like the cons outweighed the pros and thought we'd decided he would wait for another job opportunity to surface. I sat in silence in the booth. Sometimes when I sit in silence more words come out of his mouth than when I try to pull them out of him.
"There's gonna be some travel. I might be gone once a quarter. The boys are getting older. I know it won't be easy, but you'll be fine. This will be considered a foreign assignment for me and we won't even have to actually  move anywhere."

After some time I ask, "Where will you be traveling?"
" Overseas for two to three weeks at a time.....to places like South Africa and the middle east....The travel might be once a quarter. It could be more, it could be less. I'm not sure yet."

Our food arrives, but I'm no longer hungry. I push my food around my plate without eating any.

"So you are telling me you are going to be traveling out of the country, for possibly two to three weeks at a time and as much as every two to three weeks and you are going to countries whose governments have to potential to be unstable??"

"Yes...aaaand my first trip is in a few weeks."

Oh man. I've never been so mad in my life. Taking a mental look forward on the calendar I realized that my  husband would be gone while my mom was gone, while my husband's parents were gone and they were all leaving this time zone, this state, this country. So that left myself, my kids and my Dad...my babysitter was even gone. Agh!!

This was a case where I'd certainly have to dig deep and make a big 'ol fat jug of lemonade outta lemons!

A year ago last week D was in South Africa and the middle east, my mom was overseas at my sister's and my in-laws were on a cruise. And because everyone was gone my Dad had to fill in. He did great. He stepped up to the plate and helped me out. He stayed with the boys and I for a handful of nights. We had a handful of breakfasts together with sleepy eyes, p.j.'s and coffee. Dad wasn't an early breakfast eater like the boys and I, but he needed coffee to get going. Whoever woke up first got the pot going. He took his coffee black. Ick! I needed sugar and creamer (DF of course). He always talked about being a terrible sleeper and, while our guest bed was comfortable, he said he still wasn't able to sleep well. Most days he went home for a little while in the late morning (to take a nap I suspect). He returned in the late afternoon to see N get off the bus, do something fun and eat dinner before starting the night time routine. We laughed because the four of us ate on one of his prized pork loins for days. He was a meat and potatoes guy. Not much for veggies, though. And L will tell you Grandpa only liked fruit when it was in pie. L could also tell you a swear word or two that Grandpa taught him this time last year, but we'll not talk about that til he's older. ;) Dad helped with baths and jammies at night. Afterwards he'd sit down to read while I did a few chores.. He would rest his elbows on the kitchen table with his head over his book, pull out his hanky and wipe his nose. He'd push out a cough and clear his throat from time to time....He puffed on a cigar he hid on the front porch during the day and a couple times at night.. He lit it with is old fashioned flip up lighter each time then he would tuck it in the corner of the porch to hide it from the boys.. After I did a few chores we sat at the bar stools around the kitchen island and talked. I remember a lot of the things we talked about, but not everything. I just remember thinking it was so nice to have the time to talk, just the two of us. No kids, no TV, no radio. Just Dad and I. So sweet. On the nights he didn't sleep over at our house he would phone me to see how our day was and to be sure we were doing okay. He would take his cigar in and out of his mouth while we talked. I could hear his tv turned up in the background. He only smoked in the garage, so I could imagine him sitting at his work bench on his high stool with his foot up on the foot rest, his garage heater roaring away. He gave pep talks when he could tell I was tired. "Only a few more days and D will be home. You'll be fine, kiddo."

I flipped on my camera early this week and the first picture on my memory stick was a picture of Dad from this time last year when he stayed at our house. It was bittersweet. I spent a lot of time this week quietly looking back at this time last year remembering Dad and the boys together and missing Dad. And in all my thinking it became crystal clear to me that there was a bigger plan at work those months and weeks last year. Someone up above orchestrated D's job transfer, his travel to South Africa, my Mom's trip to J's and D's parents' cruise so that I could have that time with my Dad to make those memories. My boys, my Dad and I made the best lemonade outta lemons those long winter days last year. And those winter days are days I will  hold dear and cherish forever.

As it turns out D's job changed again not too long after his trip last year and he no longer travels for work. Tell me that isn't someone else's bigger plan!

Our First Supper

I drive the van into our driveway. Our driveway, not the rental driveway. Press the button to open the garage door. It's been re-adjusted and lubricated so it doesn't make any noise. Nice.  Before I open my car door I pause and say, " Boys, some day our house will be fixed and we will pull into this driveway and this will be our home again. I can't wait!" They smile. I step out of the car, walk to the back and pull out my basket of dirty dishes. Sounds of pounding hammers and birds (bird, yay!) have replaced chirping fire alarms. Progress."Careful, boys we got more snow and the driveway is icy." Unbuckle L and he opens the back door to the house for me. "Thanks, Bud." I load the dishwasher. L puts in the soap cube, closes the little dishwasher door, closes the big dishwasher door and presses the buttons to turn it on. Fist bump. "Nice work, Buddy." We head downstairs. Carpet, walls, boarded windows, empty shelves, art work gone, tv wires dangle, tv gone. I unfold the treadmill and turn it on. "This thing's making a funny noise that it didn't make before the storm or BS as I jokingly think to myself. "Did glass get inside this? Should we claim it," are my thoughts. The boys play and fight and play while I walk. No TV. "Should we just get rid of TV in the basement after we move in," I think.

Supper time approaches. Time to throw in a pizza for the guys and cook a frozen meal for myself. We (and by we I mean, I..wink, wink) better test out the oven and microwave. If they don't work we need to get them fixed or replaced...D's running late, so I pull the oven away from the wall by myself. "Take it easy. This isn't worth throwing my back out over," I think to myself. "Man the oven plug in is gigantic!! Should I really be doing this when D's not here?? Say a prayer. Lord let me be safe while I plug this thing in....Press it in, the oven beeps. Yes!"  I press the "bake" button, then the up arrow key until I reach the desired temp. The oven beeps at me and says it'll be six minutes before it's heated up. Man, this oven is so smart. What a luxury! (Heating up the gas oven at our rental is guess work. It works, but it's guess work). I pull the frozen pizza, pizza pan and sheet of aluminum outta my bag to get things going. I pull open my silverware drawer out of habit and reach for a knife to pierce the plastic packaging. No silverware. Oops. My hands will do. The oven beeps to let me know it's warmed, I open the door and find crumbs and crud on the bottom of the stove that's probably four or more months old. Eww! "Wonder if there's glass inside the oven??? Should I really be using this thing?" Slide the pizza in and let 'er cook. The next order of business is to clean this place up! My counters have turned into a workshop. Twenty some paint color swatches strewn about. Screws, washers, shop vac parts, tile, nails sitting about...oh and dust so thick you'd never believe it. "You know what, this isn't a garage or a workshop," I think to myself. "This is my kitchen. I don't want my counter tops to get dinged up or scratched. I'm gonna clean this up to look for dings and dents but I'm also going to clean it up so we can eat here tonight," I decide.

I look under the sink to find a bottle of spray soap that's got about 1/4 cup of fluid in. Across the room is a box of shop towels sturdy enough to do the job. I use my mini broom and mini dust pan to sweep the dry wall chunks and dust off and into the garbage. Then give it a good wash with what towels and soap I have. With my back turned to the plywood floors and boarded windows and tools in the living room this place feels like home. With my face towards my two new kitchen windows, working oven and microwave this place feels like home. The can lights are shining bright, the dishwasher is humming along. Awww! This feels like home. I shut my eyes and breathe it in, holding back tears of joy.
"Beeeeeep." Pizza's done. I open the door to pull it out, no pot holders. Oops! D is here by now so he offers up three shop gloves for my hands and two small pieces of 2X2 for the counter top hot pads. Nice. It works in a pinch. Now for seating...Hmmm.. One semi-sturdy dining room chair won't due for four people. "I know, let's bring in the wicker couch from the front porch." The boys wipe it down. We pull the wicker couch up to the plastic folding table and we are in business.  Frozen pizza, a frozen meal for me, leftover restaurant napkins, Red Cross bottled water...Dinner is served. We sit. We eat. We talk and laugh. I am reminded of the sign that used to hang over our kitchen table. "Having a place to go is home, having someone to love is family, having both is a blessing."  Awww, this is so wonderful. I looong to be home. I savor this moment. I wish I had my camera to capture the scene. Instead I absorb the image and let it sink into my memory. Some day we'll be back in this house with carpet, windows, wood floors, new paint. We will look back and remember the moment when we improvised and made frozen pizza, handled it with shop gloves and 2x2's and sat on a wicker couch. At the end of the meal, there was a moment when everyone was quiet.  L broke the silence when he looked up, pointed his fingers into the air, raised his eye brows, opened his big blue eyes and said, "Mom, this is our first supper back in our house!!"

Snail's pace

I see it's been quite  a while since I've updated the progress on the house....But I hate to say there is very little to tell you about in regards to the house. The weather, on the other hand, has left us with a lot to say! It has not allowed our contractors to move forward. We've had wind chills well below zero, lots and lots and lots of snow, rain, fog, wind and even thunder snow.  Yep, we've just about had it all. The other day we were listening to the weather and the meteorologist said that the temps were going to warm up, but with the warmth will come flooding because the ground is too frozen to soak up the moisture. L thought about that for a little while then he asked, "So if there's snow and flooding and rain and wind all at the same time, does that mean it's the end of the world??" Awww.. We had a good conversation after that kind of question. Poor guy. He's been a weather worrier ever since the tornado..

There is a post sticking out of our creek (at our big house) that D measured a while back. There's a white line on the post that measures three feet deep and the snow is right at that line.

The melting snow is causing problems. Lots of people whose homes were swept away by the tornado are only left with basements. Most of those basements have been boarded over. People are trying to maintain them in an effort to salvage the foundation. I've heard of people declaring what was left of their house has quickly converted from a basement to a swimming pool. In some cases insurance is covering the damage from the snow/ice/water, in other cases they are forcing the home owner's to submit a new claim with a new deductible. Ick.

All day yesterday we (and by we I mean everyone in town I talked to and am following on facebook) were talking about the weather. So many of us are tired of the snow, but we find comfort in the fact that if it's cold and it stays cold out there won't be a chance of storms or tornadoes. So, when the weather man said we are expecting warm temps we were happy to see things warm up and thaw out, but worried that scary weather would accompany the warm air. And sure enough it did...High winds and fog happened simultaneously. Tornadoes were spotted about an hour and a half south of us. Fortunately they did not cause any major damage.

Last night the fog was the worst I've ever seen. The ground was still frozen, but the air was warm so the air was really dense. You could hardly see. We had hair cuts scheduled in B-town yesterday afternoon. The boys have missed haircuts for several weeks because of tornado related tasks and because of the awful weather, so D was determined to go. As we drove we decided that once we'd reached the interstate if the fog hand't gotten better we'd turn around and drive back home. Well, as soon as we got out of the country and drove closer to town the air was completely clear and the fog was gone. It was the strangest thing to go from minimal visibility to complete visibility. It was as if I'd put my glasses back on and regained my vision. The guys got their hair cut and we stopped on the way home for dinner. Haircut nights are my favorite. Maybe next time the weather will be better.

Today the weather was more stable, a steady 30-40 degrees. In a few days the temps are supposed to drop again. I should have bought a nicer pair of winter boots after stepping on a nail in mine. Oh well. I'll claim these and replace them for something for next year.

We go through phases of emotions regarding getting back into our house. We have times when we'd like to spruce up a few things that we've been thinking about doing for a while such as adding built in shelving around the fireplace and back splash over the kitchen counters. We think about doing interesting decorating things that we've seen online like hanging reclaimed wood somewhere in the house. We'd like to add a light fixture here and a canned light there, maybe even switch to a larger ceiling fan...We get into a groove where we think about paint colors, picture frames and furniture..At times we feel like now is the time to do those things.

However, now that we've been sitting and waiting for several weeks with no repairs made, we're considering scrapping the upgrades and just moving back in. After the glimpse of stormy weather yesterday we realize how important it is to us to get back into our house where we can hang out in the basement if that makes us more comfortable during a bad weather.

At times the extra things we'd like to add to the house just don't matter. We want to move back into the house. We want to patch and paint the walls, throw in some carpet, give the place a deep cleaning and move in. We even joked last night that there are times we could live with the plywood floors and wait until our wood floor issue gets resolved with insurance. These are the times we just wanna be home!! We want to be back in our kitchen, our bedrooms, our garage and our basement. Yesterday was a reality check that storms can come again and we'd love to be back in our house where we have a basement to run to if needed. Our rental doesn't have a basement, not even a crawl space..

It's very frustrating and disappointing that construction isn't further along. People keep asking when we're going to move in but we really don't know. When insurance and weather cooperate we'll get the ball rolling. And when the ball gets rolling I really hope it moves fast so we can get things done!

In addition to construction frustrations my back has flared up. I had a flare up like this about nine years ago that required weeks of physical therapy and chiropractic care. This time around I'm sure I would benefit from that type of care (and it's available to me), but now I have two kids and two houses to take care of. I'm doing my best to pace myself. I'm allowed to do light exercises and deep water walking in the pool. No lifting. No running. No exercises that involve bouncing. I miss you, Dear Grapevine. Ha.
I've been in the pool several times water walking. I'm actually starting to enjoy it. It feels good, but it is easy to get revved up and aggravate this flare up without realizing it until later. I'm doing stretches and PT moves my chiro provided. It's helping, but the healing process, just like the construction process, is going suuuper slowly, a snail's pace. It's even slower with a sinus infection thrown on top. L had this infection first. Now I have it.. Man, you never realize how much you use your back when you cough and sneeze until your back is messed up!! Yikes! (update..D has the sinus infection. He even stayed home from work 'cause he feels bad)

In the meantime D and I continue to do what we can to keep things moving forward as best we can. We have spent lots of time picking out new couches, bed sets, carpet, wood flooring, paint samples, back splash samples, exterior lights, bathroom lights, etc, etc.....We hope to get those things chosen so that when the weather and insurance and health cooperate we are ready to roll.

Friday Funnies

I haven't done a "Friday Funnies" in so long I forgot about it. Here are some funnies from this week.

D and the boys were out running errands one afternoon last weekend and when they got home L burst in the back door and said, "Mom, if we don't have anything to eat we'll have to live on sardines!!"

One morning before school N asked me if rubber bands were made of polyester. Shortly after that he asked "if we yodel, will it snow on our heads??"

We've been watching the icicle outside L's window grow. D broke it off the other day and brought it inside. It was taller than L (before N touched the tip and broke it). (and darn it if I can't find our big icicle pictures right now...I'll post some when I find 'em)

L is my talker. He talks, talks, talks. If he's not talking he's singing and if he's not singing he's humming. He's my little noise maker. So the other day I had to laugh. We were riding in the car and he and I were both quiet for about ninety seconds. And after ninety seconds of silence he said. "Woow, I needed that piece of quiet!"

Honest to goodness there are days I believe my boys say my name 1,000 times. Their little voices are so sweet and they usually have a good question, a good joke or an interesting statement that follows the saying of my name, but sometimes I need a break from them saying "Mommy...Mommmmmmy...Mom.." So the other day I teased L and I said, "That's my name. You're about to wear it out." And, without missing a beat he said, "Mom (there it was again). I got idea. (He's always said I got idea, with no "a" or "an" between got and idea.)...So, "Mom, I got idea. How bout we change your name every day so it never gets worn out?"  I just smiled.

Temporary Home

Gru, cue "I'm Having a Bad, Bad Day" song.

Most of our days are good, as good as they can be considering our current situation. Most days we can deal with what we've been given. Most days I wake up and thank the Lord for the day, for the sunshine, for my kids, my husband, the roof over my head and the food on our plates. I am sincerely thankful. And even on the days that I'm frustrated I'm still thankful. Every single day we have little challenges that present themselves that would not otherwise present themselves if we were living our "normal" life. Most days I can roll with the punches and I can manage all the little hiccups that come our way. These are the "this situation stinks, but we're gonna be okay, we can deal with this" days. Then there are days that I think "this sucks. this really truly sucks." I don't even like that word. Seems like a swear word to me, so we'll call these the " TRS days. I can't find my tennis shoes, the boys can't find their socks, I'm out of paper towel, the humidifiers need to be filled again, this sucks." This is harder than it should be, this is not fair. This is a TRS day.

Then there are days that totally complete suck and I'm angry about it. The no good very bad day, kinda day...I call those the TFS days. The F stands for a really bad word that I don't even say, but the weight of the word gives you the sense for how rough those days are. Today was a TFS day. Ughhhh. This stinks, this isn't fair, I liked my life the way it was, I wanna go home, I'm so frustrated I wanna hit a punching bag, you get the idea.

To give you some background on our house and to give you and idea of our daily challenges I will include the following..The furnace at our rental house is very temperamental. You put a filter with any sort of filtering ability in it and the thing turns off. Totally off. That doesn't fly with this polar vortex that we're living under.. Our landlord has been super nice and he's been great to try to find a filter that eliminates more dust and allergens, but the furnace just can't take it. So, we choose to live in a house that is simultaneously warm, cold and dusty. The house is like swimming through a lake. Some rooms are warm and toasty, but if you wade a few feet the next room is cold. If you wade further you'll find a warm spot, a little farther you will find another cold spot. We have to crank up the furnace to try to warm the coldest rooms while we practically sweat in others. Some of us are sleeping with lots and lots of blankets on in heavy jammies and others are sleeping with minimal blankets and light weight jammies. Welcome to the lake, folks.. This house is somewhat of an H shape. Two long sides connected by two doorways. The kitchen side houses the furnace so that side is warm. The opposite side of the house isn't as warm. I try to set up fans to push the air from the kitchen side into the living room side to even out the temps. The frustration with the fans is that we really don't have space to spare for them to be sitting out nor do we have extra outlets to use, so we have to unplug that thing to plug in this thing and we have to move the fans to walk past them.

Speaking of plug ins...some work as they should. Some outlets are wired to the light switch so that you can plug a lamp into them and use that as your light for the room. However, you cannot plug anything else into that outlet unless you're okay with the things on that outlet turning on and off with the flip of a switch. Then we have other outlets that are worn out and if you so much as breath on them wrong the plug you have inserted in will fall out. So, if I do the math we have....one to two outlets per room that work on a consistent basis.

And speaking of consistency, we have a neighbor who consistently parks her car on the side of the street at the very corner of our driveway. Honestly there's nowhere else for her to park. After living here for nearly eight weeks we realize her parents work days and she works second shift and they have a one (possibly two) car driveway. They have to do the drive way dance....The annoying thing is that their driveway dance forces our driveway dance. As we descend our steep driveway we have to watch for her bumper so that we don't hit it as we back up. That's not always easily done on snowy, icy pavement.

Not only do we do the driveway dance,we have to do the bathroom dance...No, no. No potty training going on here. It's not that kind of bathroom dance. We have to take turns using the bathroom. Cause not only do we have one small bathroom, but our small bathroom has two doors. Ya, I can stand in the middle of the bathroom, stretch out my arms and close both doors simultaneously. So, you hardly ever get any privacy when you need to take a shower, go potty, brush your teeth, dry your hair..Not to mention the bathroom is right next to the furnace so it's hotter than the dickens...I don't like to dry my hair in there because it's so hot, so I try to dry my hair in one of the colder rooms, but then the boys complain that the hair dryer is too loud. Ughh!!

And speaking of hot....I haven't been able to cook a really good meal yet because my oven doesn't operate on a temperature that I am used to. It's too hot...or is it too cold?? I can't figure it out.. I enjoyed baking and cooking when we were living in our other house. I need to do a lot of home made meals so that I can stay on track with my gluten free, dairy free needs, but this oven and stove have proven to make that more of a challenge that it already is. And then there's my crock pot..I had myself all geared up and excited to make use of my crock pot, but it's been shotty too. The other day Mom put a roast in the crock pot for us (Thanks again, Mom). I got home and checked on it. One side of the roast was 165 degrees the other was 145. Same roast, same crock pot, same thickness. Bad crock pot.

The boys and I have attempted several baking recipes, but in order to have the space for us to bake I have to unplug the microwave and set it on the kitchen table (if it doesn't have toys and papers on it). I also have to be sure to move or clean the dishes before baking to free up counter space. I just want to bake! I want to bake on my island in my kitchen without having to move my appliances and do the dishes in advance.

Keeping up with the dishes in another story. We produce dirty dishes like it's our job. We've reduced the number of dishes we clean by using some paper products, but we still have lots of dirty pots and pans....Side note. I feel bad about using more paper and disposable products. I use to say a little apology inside my  head to Mother Nature at each meal because we are using so many paper plates and plastic utensils, but it is Mother Nature who put us in the position!! . Anyway. Back to the dirty dishes. As I have mentioned before, I do the dishes by hand from time to time, but most of the time I don't have time or energy at the end of the day to dive into that chore. So, the idea is to keep an empty  bin in the kitchen and set our dirty dishes in it as we go. Once the bin is full I take it to our other house and let the dishwasher do the work for me. When the dishes are clean, I wipe out the bin and put the now clean dishes in said bin and haul them home. This is a great idea and it's working, but most of the time, when I reach down to put a dirty dish in the dirty dish box I realize the clean dishes in the bin haven't been put away yet...not to mention the fact that we have to shift the dirty dish box around the kitchen all day to get to our dresser drawers.

Yes, we have a dresser in our kitchen. It's actually quite handy. You might try it. ;)
The dresser serves as a little bit of extra "counter" space, it houses office supplies, plastic leftover containers and winter accessories. Sounds like an odd mixture of things to be housed in one place, but it works..after you move the dirty dish bin outta the way that is.

Putting things away is a theme that carries on and on and on throughout the day. We don't have any extra space for anything. The kids have to put their toys  away so I have space to exercise in the living room. "Please play in your rooms while I exercise so I don't accidentally run into you."
" Please pick up the Legos off your floor in your room so you space to play"
" Please put your clothes away so we can put the clothes basket in your closet so you can walk in your room." We can't leave more than two laundry baskets by the washing machine or we won't be able to walk in the back door. We can't leave shoes or coats sitting out or we won't be able to get into the front or back door without tripping.

We moved our black shelving unit to this house to prevent it from getting damaged during renovations at our other house. It's a great idea in theory, but the unit must have suffered some shifting or damage during the move because the shelves keep sliding off their pegs and dumping their contents onto the shelf below or onto the floor. That happened three times today. Three times! Urghh!!

An interesting note on laundry at this house... You can't run the washing machine while you're taking a shower. Not because the water's temperature will change. Nope. It's because the water from the washing machine will back up into the bath tub and mix with your shower water if both are on at the same time.

We are thankful to have a garage and I'm glad D is letting me park in it (he has to scrape his windows every  morning in this historically cold winter weather), but honest to goodness I think dogs must have been kenneled in the garage. It smells awful! There's gotta be animal hair hidden in the rafters or the walls 'cause it smells like a dog. Dog, dog, dog. The garage has very valuable shelf space, but we can't store anything fabric out there or I'm afraid it will smell like dog. The garage fills up with snow and ice so we have to squeegee it every few days to keep it from turning into a giant slushy mess. Cause you and I both know that slush will make it's way onto our feet and into our house.

Our refrigerator is a standard size fridge or smaller. It's gotta be smaller than standard. We don't have a lot of space for anything extra in it. The freezer is packed to the gills. There's no room for ice cubes in the freezer. I take after my grandma N in that I love my ice in my drinks! the more ice the better for this girl. To solve that problem we buy a large bag of ice and put it in an ice chest in the garage with a scoop in it. If you want your cold beverage you have to step out into the garage to get your scoop of ice. Must be like the olden days.

I typically hang the majority of my clothes out to dry. I have space in the back half bedroom (yes, I said half bedroom, not half bath. Half bedroom is the term used by our landlord. He honestly is a really sweet guy.) However, I cannot hang my clothes to dry in the half bedroom because it's too cold. It is so cold it literally takes two to three days for those clothes to dry completely and that's with a fan blowing on them. I have resorted to putting my drying wrack in the hallway with the fan blowing on it.

With that said. Wanna come over?? Ha!! Should you stop by unannounced you might see my clothes drying in the hallway with a fan on them. But don't trip on the extension cord leading to the fan to the bathroom with two doors with a boy sitting on the  potty with the door open.  Don't trip on my dirty dishes bin and wonder why my microwave is on the kitchen table next to burnt brownies and a science project (we've done lots of those on our six snow days). Don't trip on any little shoes and try to avoid getting stepped on by the exercising lady...Come to the front door and not the garage 'cause you'll go home smelling like dog... Should you stop by unannounced come to the front door and ring the doorbell but give me a minute to move the extra basket of laundry and yellow and black tub of wooden trains. Should you come by unannounced don't be distracted by piles of jet lagged mail (still taking 13-21 days to forward) and crooked wall hangings. For this Mama is doing her best. I'm using pre existing nail holes to hang our pictures to make this place our home. Our temporary home, but our current home nonetheless.

(P.S. I went back and edited the typing and grammar errors and my computer froze up. Just adding to my "Bad, bad day." I better just keep it like it is instead of losing the whole darn thing.)

Visitors

I have attempted to get things organized at this house, but I don't want to get too committed because I know we're not going to live here long. We're visitors in this house so to speak...but I also feel like a visitor in our other house. Construction has begun on our house. Our contractors are super nice, respectful guys. They are from our parents' hometown. They are there to work and they are doing a good job, but we try not to stay at the house too long because we don't want to interupt their work. We're visitors. We worked on the house this weekend to get more of our belongings boxed up and moved out so the guys can rip out the carpet and hardwood. The majority of our neighbors have crews working at their houses, too. Some crews are local and some have been recruited from other cities and states. Having so many unfamiliar faces on the cul de sac makes our neighborhood a place to visit. So we return to our rental house. Our master bedroom is too small to hold both of our dressers, so my clothes are stored in a dresser in the half bedroom. Our closet is too small to hold all of our clothes, so half of my clothes are in the master bedroom and half in N's. The coats we are not using at the moment are in L's room. D and the boys have their dressers in their rooms, so they are more settled in than me. I'm okay with my dresser being in a room other than my bedroom most of the time, but sometimes it's yet another instance of feeling like just a visitor. We have a roof over our heads and a roof being fixed, but being visitors in two places can make a girl feel homeless sometimes.

Dream

I took the boys to Grammy's house on Friday for a sleep over at Grammy's. We made it to town slowly but surely. I promise I will never drive the lake road on a snowy day ever again in my life!!! We met Mom at the bar/grill in town. It was nice to be in town on a Friday at lunch time. The noon whistle sounded and the boys were a bit alarmed. "It's just the noon whistle, honey. There's no tornado." Grammy was nice enough to go to the bar/grill ahead of us to save a table and order our food. The bar/grill was really busy and bustling It' was good to see so much activity in town! We usually visit on the weekends when things are much slower. I actually had to drive around for a bit to find a parking spot. As I drove around I went passed the funeral home where Dad's services were. A few mental images surfaced as I drove around. One image in particular was the boys helping the paw bearers carry Dad's casket to the hearse. The boys were so cute all dressed up in their white shirts and ties. I just know I snapped a picture of that moment, but I can't seem to find it right now....We enjoyed a nice lunch, got the boys set up at Grammy's and I headed home. (The boys had a great time at Grammy's. I've been hearing all about it)

I returned to our rental house to work on our claims list. Later than evening D and I needed to pick something up at Lowe's, so we went out to eat while we were out. I enjoyed the most delicious sirloin steak and cooked veggies I have eaten in a long time. For some reason I just can't make a good meal at this house. My crock pot is proving to be finicky and I'm  not used to cooking/baking on a gas stove, so I haven't been cooking my usual recipes quite as well.  When we got home I worked on our claims sheet for a couple more hours before heading to bed. Before I fell asleep I was thinking about our plans for the next day. We decided we better move our belongings from our "north" storage unit to a new unit that opened up in town (between little house and big house) before the big snow fall arrives. As I was falling asleep I was alternating between thinking about being back in our home town, Dad's funeral and moving our stuff the next day. Before I knew I was having a very clear dream about D and I moving boxes into a vehicle. Box after box went into this empty vehicle. We were amazed at how much we could fit in there and (in the dream) we even mentioned that we didn't even really need the uhaul we rented.. We put in the last box and shut the back door .D got in the vehicle to drive it to the new storage unit. "See you at the new unit." As he pulled away I stepped back from the vehicle to get a good look at it and I realized we had packed our stuff into a long black hearse just like the one at Dad's visitation.

It's weird how our thoughts merge together to form a dream.