Black Friday

We had a great Thanksgiving Day and Mom and Dad's yesterday. Everyone was really good about pitching in to make the meal and to clean up afterwards. Mom sat at the head of the table where Dad would normally sit, but that was appropriate. She's been really strong the last seven weeks. She's still dealing with lots of "stuff" that I suspect is pretty typical after the loss of a spouse. She's also taking over everything Dad would normally due around the house in addition to doing her usual tasks. She's been a rock for my family since the tornado hit. She's a good mixture of tough (walking to my house after the tornado hit) and thoughtful. Making a meal for our family is tricky, but she did a terrific job of making it friendly for the both the vegetarians and meat lovers, for the gluten lovers and the gluten sensitive. All while dealing with the fact that Dad wasn't there. He was always good about greeting us at our car's as soon as we pulled into the drive."Hey, kiddo" he'd say and greet us with a hug. "What do you need me to carry in for ya?" Dad was good about putting the extra leaf in the dining room table, getting out extra chairs, emptying the garbage when it got filled, doing the dishwasher after the meal, cooking the meat and cutting the turkey. It was pretty obvious that Dad wasn't' there to cut the turkey and that was a bit of a reality check for me. However, my sister's husband did a good job of taking over. Preparing the meal, the table the house was a team effort but Mom was definitely the coach of this team. She should sit at the head of the table.

on our way home from Thanksgiving I told D I needed to pick something up at Target..I don't remember what I needed, but it was something basic, necessary. When we turned the corner and saw the Black Friday (err Thursday) crowd wrapped around the building we remembered it was Black Friday. Needless to say we didn't even attempt Target last night. Whatever it was we needed was not that important!! In year's past I would get super excited about Black Friday. I would scan the ads, make my list, make my plan for the day, pack snacks, water kleenex. I'd lay out my clothes so I could jump in them first thing in the morning so I could join the crowds and feel the rush. I was that person and next year I might be again, but not this year. This year my Black Friday mission was to find a rental property for my family to live in for the next handful of months while your house is being gutted and put back together.

My Black Friday mission started Wednesday night at nine when a friend texted me to see if I'd been in contact with a company that's hired by insurance companies to find rental properties for those who've been displaced due to a disaster. I hadn't heard of that! And they can help you rent furniture too? Wow! I got in contact with the lady right away and she texted me back. She texted and emailed me from nine o'clock until eleven o'clock that night, Thanksgiving Eve! She even called me a few times Thanksgiving morning and we set up an appointment to see the little house at nine this morning. It's a house, not an apartment. That means our boys can run and jump and play without disturbing anyone below or next to us. It has a one car garage. D was quick to give me the garage so I don't have to scrape my windows before getting the boys to school. It has three bedrooms and one small bedroom that we will use as a small office. D and I joked that the house is a 1960's time capsule. It's definitely seen many a tenants, but it will be our home for the next few months. We saw the house and as we were leaving another couple came in to see it after us. Another couple saw it after them. When we saw the other couple entering the house we felt the pressure of the tightening rental housing market. Eeek! We gotta tell him how interested we are. We returned to our damaged home to manage the crew that was there to help while waiting for the phone to ring........I'm glad our minds were occupied with work because that made the time go faster. Our seven person crew (ten when you add in D, D's Dad and I) ripped out carpet, pulled up tack strips, moved furniture into and out of the Uhaul, packed boxes, etc, etc. We had terrific help!! Then after a while we got the call that Joe chose us to rent the house! "We got the house!" Yay!! What a tremendous relief. A roof over our heads....A humble, quaint, nostalgic roof, but a roof nonetheless. The best Black Friday shopping I'll ever do!!

Day 11

Today was another great day. We had help from Dad's brother, M. He took a day off work and made the one hour drive to help us out. I honestly wasn't sure how I was going to react when I saw him as the last time we visited was at Dad's funeral a few weeks ago. "We gotta stop meeting like this!" If you don't know M you don't know just how much he looks, sounds and acts like Dad. It's uncanny really. I didn't know if his similarities would make me upset, but they didn't. In fact, it made made me feel Dad's presence. made me feel like he was there with us. so nice!

It was just D, M and myself, but we were a good team. We got the ruined furniture out of the front room, swept the hardwood floor and covered it with flatten boxes and rugs. we are doing our best to preserve the floor. the insurance agent assured us they will cover any damage to the floors, but if we can reduce the amount of damage we'd like to. the less damage the earlier we can get back into our house, right? once that was done we emptied the big dressers and night stands and moved them into the front room. M and his wife had a major house fire a few years ago, so they are able to offer advice on how to approach the disaster from that perspective. Valuable information!

Once we got all the furniture to the front room we were able to approximate how much more storage unit space we needed. We have a crew coming over on Friday from D's work to help us move large pieces onto a trailer to take to storage. With tomorrow being Thanksgiving we knew we needed to get a storage unit lined up before 5 today. But how was I going to call places without a computer, without a phone book and without internet access to my phone? "Who can help me??" hmm. Mom was probably busy getting ready for Thanksgiving and D's parents were busy with the boys...The library! I called the library and explained my situation to the woman on the phone. She was super happy to take my name and number and call me back with a list of storage unit phone numbers. So nice!

I got on the phone and called about seven storage unit facilities in a forty miles radius before we found one. "Sorry, we're full." Sometimes you have to get a lot of "no's" before you get a "yes." i picked up the phone to call the last number on the list and the woman had one space left and it was really big. YES!! We literally jumped in the car and headed straight there to sign on the dotted line. Not to sound too preachy, but God is definitely providing for us. On His schedule and with a little perseverance on our part, but He is providing!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Tomorrow will be seven weeks to the day that we got the call about Dad. It will be a little less than six weeks from his funeral. It will be three weeks since my refrigerator broke, two weeks since L and N had croup and one and half since the tornado hit. We've had a rough couple of months, but we remain blessed, fortunate, thankful. While we will have one empty seat at the table (and that'll be hard), we will have many seats that are full and for that we are grateful!

If the last two weeks have taught us anything it's to appreciate the things you have, even in a time of loss. Happy Thanksgiving.

Tuesday Day 10

Today was a big day. Our insurance adjustor and contractor were able to come to the house to look over the house at the same time. We were technically not allowed into our homes, but the insurance agent, contractor and D parked on the road behind our house and walked along the waterway to get in. I couldn't get my car over the curb to park on that street, so I planned on parking at our gym about 1.5 miles away and walking in. I suited up in my "tornado chique" (thanks to J for coining our current fashion) used bibs (that i picked up at the donation center) and prepped myself to walk the 1.5 miles weighted down with backpacks and bags.. Side note: If there's anything I've learned about myself (and D) this week it's this. If you present me with a challenge that prevents my family from getting what we need I'm going to fight like H to change your mind. I will try to do so with respect and graciousness, but you better believe Ill give it my all.. You are totally unaware of what you are capable of until something like this happens to you...I've had my moments of frustration/anger/weakness, but I've been given moments of strength and determination too.

As I parked my car in the parking at the gym I realized I would be walking through the tornado zone versus driving. I've driven through it a few times and every time I'm amazed at the destruction. But, driving through forces you to move somewhat quickly. Walking on other hand was going to be the slowest possible way to navigate... As I drew closer to the police officer manning that part of the street I realized these are the streets I have walked on with my kids since they were babies. We've walked, jogged, biked these sidewalks countless times observing the landscaping, animals, passersby as we go. We've had our best conversations and laughs here. Would there even be a sidewalk to walk on, a house to recognize, a landmark to familiarize myself with? I felt my sadness start to creep into my head thinking of how much these roads have meant to my kids and I and the memories we've made and I decided  i may not be able to walk this one without breaking down and crying. "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..."  I noticed the police officer was letting some cars in but not others, so i asked who was being allowed in. "Where you headed?" He didn't recognize our street name so he pulled out the map for clarification. Once he realized how far I was walking (and remember it's really cold out) he looked at me like I was crazy. "I have to meet my insurance agent and my builder. I can't miss them." At that moment another police officer arrived to relieve this man of his duties. He saw how far I was going to walk and said, "I'm here to take over your post.  We're not supposed to let anyone in, but I will let you if he escorts you."  I needed that help in that moment. If I had to walk I was going to take a deep reath and do it, but I was given a little grace instead. i needed it. (Thanks, Dad I thought to myself). I've had many little moments like that lately where I'm in the right time at the right place and I'm guided to what I need. Those moments have been happening just when I need them. I always take note of them, say thanks and "put them in my pocket" and look at them when we're having a challenging moment.

This tornado has changed our lives in so may ways. one thing I keep thinking about is the generosity of family, friends and complete strangers. We've had so many ask to help us out it's un-real. We're usually not the ones accepting help (and that's been something to get used to), but now that we know what it's like to need help we will be better at figuring out what others need when it's our turn to pitch in!

One week mark

Today was one the one week mark since the tornado hit.

This morning we took a bit of a slower start to our day as we all got to bed late last night. I'm sleeping a little better each night. The first few nights were really, really hard. Sunday night, the night of the tornado the four of us slept in the same room of the house and I wanted it that way.  By night two or three I decided I could handle heading down the hall from them and got some better z's. one morning I woke up at 2:30 and laid in bed with my mind spinning until 5:30. I fell back asleep until 8 and decided to get up and get a move on. But, last night was better.

Today Mom came to othe hotel and ate breakfast with us. The lady that makes the breakfast here is a Grandma and she enjoyed talking to the boys this morning. She chatted with them and prepared a snack for them to take with us. ;)

After breakfast D and I headed to the Red Cross MARC center set up in town. Their were numerous agencies there to offer whatever type of assistance you need. We were able to get in contact with our tv provider to work that out. The people meant well and were happy to help, but it was honestly too much for me. Too many people, too much comotions, too much. When the tornado hit my ears felt a big change in pressure. I think that has made my ears more sensitive to noise.

we headed to the house after being at hte MARC center. We are emptying out the rooms in preparation for tearing out the carpets. It was nice that D and I had some time at the house alone today to get ready for that. We finally resigned to the fact that we can't save our mattresses, so we had a friend help us haul those to the curb. We are doing our best to document all the stuff we throw out and sometimes that's tedious. so that was nice to work on that alone. in the next few days we will eventually need help ripping out our carpet and other larger tasks, but we won't know when we will be allowed back in. At this point we haven't asked friends and family for help because we're not sure when we be able to get back in for sure.

We found some treasures in our yard today. A pretty christmas shaped ornament and a high school letter from a letter jacket possibly. i posted pix on facebook to see if anyone wants to claim them.

we were supposed to take the boys to our gym for a playdate with n's classmates, but we could not convince him to go. He's just not sure about going anywhere. He'd rather stay at the hotel. He wanted to see our house, so we took the boys in. They both were surprised at the desctruction they saw on the way to our house, but handled it better than i thought. the boys were happy to see just how lucky we are with the amount of stuff we still have...but after about fifteen minutes of being at the house I could not find N. I though he was upstairs with D and D thought n was with me. When we called out for him we coudln't find him. Agh!! I panicked and started running around the yard looking for him. I was afraid he'd run over to the neighbors to see a friend like we used to do bf the storm. He hadn't. We found him sitting in the truck, in his car, ready to go. "I just wanna go back to the hotel." I sat with the boys in the car until we left. We talked about things while we waited for Daddy. N keeps singing the song from the Titanic movie. He says that song is appropriate because that song was played on the Titanic when it was destroyed and it is playing in his mind while our house is destroyed....Bless his heart! I asked him if he wanted me to tape him singing it on my phone and he said yes. That made him feel good....

Minutes before we left our house the men came by our house to restore our heat!!! Hooray!! We won't have to wear winter snow pants and snow gear inside our house anymore. The frigid temperatures are a  big concern. There are  hundreds of volunteers, police officers, electircal workers, homeowners working in these temperatures and it's cold!! I think the high was 27 today.

The minute I sat in the warm truck with the boys to wait for daddy I realized how tired i was. Oy!
I've been in super charged mode for so long i finally was able to asses that i was tired. i fell asleep in the car on the way home while d drove. We picked up pizza from a place in town that has gf crust and ate in our hotel room. the boys are watching up on tv while i type.

Tomorrow is Monday. we haven't figured out what we are going to do tomorrow. D might go back into work for a bit. We're not allowed into our homes, so the boys and I might just chill out. catch up on laundry, etc. i wish i had an oven to bake muffins in. That's something I'm looking forward to in the future. So much to look forward to. :)